These are the plans for the house when it is finished. I have no idea when that will be but isn't it cool?

SEX!!!!!!!!

This whole Sara Palin has got me to thinking about why I didn't end up in a similar situation as a teen. I grew up in an extremely religious family. I knew from an early age that I didn't believe the same thing that the rest of my family did. The religion I grew up in does not condone pre martial sex.

Now I realize my mother is wise. She never had that conversation in a way that made me think the only reason not to have sex was for religious reasons. I found her diaphragm (please god never let her see this) at a very early age and asked about it. She told me quite frankly what it was. Kind of just matter of factly imparted information to me. Told me she didn't believe it is right to have sex out of marriage but just so I knew this is how it's done, this is what you do to protect yourself and that she got pregnant the FIRST time she didn't protect herself. FIRST?? Holy shit.

I held on to my virginity for a very long time. Not because God wouldn't love me but out of fear that I'd get pregnant. I can honestly say I have NEVER been carried away and not protected myself. I also knew at an early age I didn't want children and I have never had a pregnancy scare.

Why can't people understand that merely imparting information in a non judgemental factual way can be a powerful tool. Knowing what to do didn't make me do it. It made me NOT do it. I knew how to protect myself.

Maybe Sara Palin would have still gotten herself pregnant and I really don't know what her mother did or didn't tell her. But if she follows the pattern of these religious right folks that conversation was probably laced with threats, guilt and judgement. Teenage girls are famously recalcitrant and these tactics can have the opposite effect that the parents desire. I could go on and on about how angry these abstinence programs make me and how ineffective they are. Sex is like one of the best things EVER and remember how it was when you first figured that out?

Be honest and factual and leave your personal agenda at the door. If you have raised your children right in all other aspects of their lives that will reflect in this choice.

Conundrum

So Mark and I live on the South Fork of the Snoqualmie River, high up above the river. He owns the property from the house all the way down to the river but you can't build down below because it's a flood plain.

So here is the conundrum. People come from across the river and set up little fishing parties on his property. They seem completely unaware that it's like if we came to their house and set up a Hibachi in their backyard. It's pretty far away so it isn't too intrusive in our everyday lives, it just seems a little arrogant. There is no road or trail to get to the little sandy beach and you can clearly see the house. Tonight there were about six people down there with chairs yucking it up and fishing. It seems unfriendly to put up a "No Trespassing" sign but at the same time it feels a bit weird to have them there. Maybe "Smile, you are in our backyard!" What do you think?

The House

Rather than post the house pics one by one online I post them on my spaces page. You can reach them at this link http://misslolasacademy.spaces.live.com/photos/cns!54DE7438DE4BB251!216/ I took some pictures in March 2007 and then from the same angle in August 2008 it's interesting seeing the house progress. Check out the slate shower!!

Racism

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, racism is a belief or ideology that all members of each racial group possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially to distinguish it as being either superior or inferior to another racial group or racial groups. The Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines racism as a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular racial group, and that it is also the prejudice based on such a belief. The Macquarie Dictionary defines racism as: "the belief that human races have distinctive characteristics which determine their respective cultures, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule or dominate others."

So if I am reading this correctly to tell a joke with a racial slant does not make you a racist, right?

My Sister (or how I tortured her)

Travis your post made me think of all the things I did to my sister growing up. I am the younger she the older by three years but I am a bit more of an outgoing adventurous type. She is careful and guarded. Thus, I could torture the shit out of her.

She always seemed so worried about things. So I would gleefully pick out those things and bug her...endlessly. I'm a little ashamed at this point but at the same time I still do it. It's like if I know she won't approve or will painfully disapprove I will go to extremes to point it out to her. She was a Girl Scout I made a point of being a Blue Bird. If she loved a song I hated it. I have no idea why I made it my mission in life to be different but I did.

She doesn't like heights and I remember as a child going up into the mountains and hanging over edges."Look Laurie" and then practically dangling by my fingertips from the side of the road til she was blue with worry. Just mean.

My favorite memory amazes me. I was less then ten (I know this from the memory of the rooms we had) and had a unbelievable commitment to this prank. We had a small gray mouse toy. You know the kind that looks just like a mouse and is covered in gray rabbit fur. I tried to find a picture but it looked more like a mouse than the above picture. She hated it. Couldn't have it touching her and screamed if it did. My mother repeatedly told me to throw it away or threw it away herself. I would dig it out every time. My favorite thing to do with this toy was hide it in my sister's room. In a pocket of her robe, behind a book in her bookcase, in a shoe... wherever I could think to put it and then wait for the inevitable scream (my room was next to hers). What I find amazing about this now is that I had the patience to wait for the payoff at ten. It sometimes was immediately but sometimes it was days even weeks before my mom would come storming into my room yelling about being mean to my sister...

I always thought I was such a bratty hideous child that tortured my unassuming sister until recently. We were talking about my mouse trick and they asked if I remembered being frightened at Washelli cemetary in Seattle or at Spirit Lake as a kid. Well sure I thought the bodies were coming out of the ground (a sprinkler system was being put in) at the cemetary and Jaws was in the lake. Well who do you think told you that?

Ahhhhhhhhh, touche sister touche :)

I will admit it I love ambien. I am a life long insomniac. Sometimes I think it's because I have super sonic hearing or sensitivity to light or just a brain that cannot turn off at night. But for whatever reason I really never get a good nights sleep.

This went on until I met Mark. He had one and gave it to me. I hung on to it with fear and trepidation. I'd heard all the horror stories of people driving, eating and hallucinating. I waited til Mark was with me and then...nothing happened. Bummer. I tried it again and fell immediately into a deep restful sleep that lasted until the next morning??!! Wow!

So I got my own RX for it only to realize they tease you with new stuff that isn't supposed to be addictive and then tell you it is. Is my good nights sleep a gateway behavior into other good things? Flossing maybe? So I get my ambien refilled every three months and can sleep three night a week. I choose them carefully. So they have a pill that stops headaches and you can take it everyday...why not this? It's like someone is dangling a good nights sleep over my head just a bit too high for me to reach....sigh

Victory!!

So I got my money back on Friday! Here's what happened...

I sent that last email with no hope that the fifth time would be the charm. But then Thursday night got a phone all from her. As per usual I ignored it. I haven't been taking her calls because I haven't been confident I could not yell and scream. I figured the best way to resolve this was to not stoop to her level. So I ignored the call.

She didn't leave a message but a few minutes later I got a text asking me to come to her house and get the check. Obviously she again hadn't mailed it when she said she would. She said she wanted to make sure I got it and get a receipt from me. I told her there was no way I was going out of my way for her and if she wanted to give me the check she would have to bring it to me.

She asked where and after a few minutes of back and forth we arranged a meeting place close to my house but not at my house (like I want her to know where I live!)

So having a while I took a shower but then I had second thoughts. First of all she says it's a cashiers check but do I know how to recognize a forgery? Second if it is a forgery, I gave her a receipt. How would that play out in court? She could say I had taken her money and run.

So I texted back, said I'd changed my mind and would only accept cash. So I agreed to meet her at her bank Friday at noon to cash the check. She was mad but agreed.

The next day I got there a little early. She texted and said she'd be late. I told her I would give her ten minutes and then I was leaving. That worried her I think and she texted me every turn she took from her house until she called from her car. She was finally there.

I met her in the parking lot. I moved in there in January and she was a bit of a drunk but kind of normal. Now she had her stripper tits (sorry no other way to describe them) on full display in a hot pink short tank top, short shorts and new butt length skanky extensions. Biting my tongue I followed her in. She gave me a constant string of excuses...I said nothing. She handed me the check... I said nothing. We walked to the counter...I said nothing. I got my money (plus court costs)...I said nothing, didn't give her a receipt and walked out the door.

I never have to deal with that creature again. But I am considering reporting the house to the Health Department...too mean?

Okay I probably should give this landlord thing a rest and blog about something else, right? So this will be the last one until the court date or if by some miracle we settle. Sooo,

I wrote her one last email in fit of rage...

Here is my address one more time PO Box --- Preston, Wa 98050

I’m not really sure why you have now told me you will mail this four times. What kind of game you are playing with me. I am NOT playing. By now you know I filed in small claims court. You have no right to continue to keep this money. Do not call or text or write me again telling me you are sending this money. I will consider dropping it if I get it but I will not tolerate being played with. So knock it off. Last minute won’t work either….soon as in a day or two is the only acceptable action on your part. Done playing, overnight it if need be but quit f’ing with me.

and received this...

i have a money order I pulled out over a week ago. i am mailing it today. you will see the date on it. the check was in my car. i have not been around much and busy with the business divorse and kids. its been difficult, but no intentions of not paying you. i would have droped it off but I dont know where you live.

Nichol

Hee hee I kind of am asking for this aren't I? I have a hard time with the last word...I like to have it. Sigh. What I don't understand is why she keeps saying that she's sending it? Does she think I will say "Oh gosh that's great let me drop this case now"? And of course she doesn't know where I live, sheesh. Would I want that train wreck showing up here?

Sigh sigh

Oh for F$#*s Sake

So crazy landlord sent me a text Monday saying "I'm at the Post Office now with a money order. Going to put it in the mail" to which I responded "Sure you are" And....nothing.

So I texted her back "I do not believe a word you say. See you in court"

My question is why does she keep saying she's doing it?

My Favorites

Dog photography is difficult. Your subjects don't behave but I always try to capture each client with a picture. These are my favorites

John Edwards

So a fellow blogger has been talking about this and I'm always afraid of taking up comment space with all my opinions so here I go...

His wife has cancer, he WAS running for President, he had an affair, the media found out and exposed it. I'm sorry to my two loyal readers (I probably shouldn't alienate the two people who actually read this:) but the media in this regard disgusts me. What was the reason for bringing this to light? Because he MIGHT have become President? Well he wasn't. Because it's IMMORAL? Oh shut the fuck up those without sin cast the first stone.

I felt this way when the whole Bill and Monica came up. Let Hillary deal with it, I'm pretty sure she can and will. "Oh but he lied!" Yes, and in my opinion he should say "none of your business" and then refuse to speak of it again because it's not my business.

We have found out time and time again that powerful men tend to be philanderers. No I wouldn't want to be married to them but I don't see who it effects their jobs. Unless of course you count the stress of having to dodge THE MEDIA. Sure that could change how they do their jobs but is this something I have the right to know? GRRR.

The thing I find most disturbing is that his wife is dying of cancer, he has children and it could have been kept quiet. Why in the hell was this necessary??

http://www.newsweek.com/id/149280&GT1=43001

Oh my god click number 13

Newton and Lola bunk down for the night:)

A Poll

So we were having one of those nonsensical conversations again and Mark suggested a poll.

What religion is your cat or dog?

Lola is a Wiccan...she likes to frolic naked in nature.

Bismarck and Newton are Muslim...Persian don't you know.

Aknot is a Buddist...a Himalayan.

Hi Travis! I tried to get a video of Lola doing her thing in the sand on a soccer field. She only went partially insane and the wobbly camera will probably make you sick...but I tried. The other dog is the little aggressive guy I posted about before :) Just for perspective Lola is only about 20 pounds so you can see how tiny the other dog is, enjoy!

Progress

This is what the house looks like now. I think Mark is wearing the same clothes as in the last picture and for the record I do buy him new clothes. I just don't let him wear them when he works:)

You've been served!

So last week I paid fifty bucks to the King County Sheriff to have the small claims court papers served on my psycho ex landlord and today I got a letter back saying they were...sort of. The letter says...

...after a diligent search and inquiry, I was unable to find-------, named party, so I served a person of suitable age and discretion, then resident therein at the house and usual abode of the named party, by delivering such copy to and leaving it with co-resident "Clint", who accepted the papers but did not want to give his last name.

So I called the Sheriff's office and asked if this was acceptable to the court and apparently it is. So the next step is to write this all out, get a statement from any and all relevant witnesses and go to court on the 29th.

I'm gonna get this crazy #$@&*!!

My Dad

Travis' post about his friends death got me to thinking about my Dad's death January 22 2007. I remember exactly what I was doing when my day stopped being good.

I had a new boyfriend, new clients and it was a good day. I was having a goofily dirty conversation via text wth my boyfriend using chinese takeout dishes in ways they weren't intended. You know he was my General Tso, I was his Sweet and Sour chicken...well there was more but right in the middle of the conversation my mom called. My Dad was dead.

You know how you wonder how you will react in certain situations. Well we had a rather large earthquake and I was cool as a cucumber. Same with some potentially scary medical conditions with Mark, calm and collected. So when this happened I went into my take charge mode. Called clients and cancelled my next day. Cancelled a trip for the day after that and headed to my parents condo. First weird experience....... it's not my parents condo anymore, hmmmm.

I still haven't cried. I'm totally dry. I get up there and so is my mom. And then we work carefully to maintain this emotionless state. Tears threaten to pop out several times but neither of us let them. The warm one in the family was dad. He was the one we all liked. We don't really like each other too much. My sister is in Hawaii so we focus on what to do about her, our plan to go to the lawyer tomorrow and how to let everyone know.

So strangely I don't stay. I don't know why but I call practically everyone I know on the way home and tell them and still don't cry. Here's the deal I don't really like to show my emotions. If I have a boyfrend I will probably never fess up how I feel about him. I think I'm worried if it all falls apart I don't want anyone to know how devastated I am. I am not fond of sympathy. Don't know why.

So I was fine through the lawyer and seeing my sister. The two times I did break down were when my boyfriend bought an entire grocery store trying to find something I'd eat....BAWL for hours!!! And when my Mom, with who I have issues, decided to scatter the ashes alone.

It was months later when little things started to creep into my conscienceness and make me cry at the drop of a hat. I'd have a funny dog story and think "I have to tell dad that" and then realize I couldn't. I'd call their house only to realize he will never answer again. My mother started to get rid of his things and they all had a Dad story. Then I couldn't remember his voice. That one kills me even now. Oh and he never met Mark. I hate that one more than anything. I think they would've been very compatable maybe even hung out a little, so sad to miss that.

Even with all this I think things happen for a reason and in an order that is the right order. He was mostly blind soon to be completely blind. We didn't know what we were going to do with him to keep him occupied and not sleeping in his chair. Plus it now horrifies me that we didn't even discuss what we would do with or for him if for some reason my mom went first.

Now aside from a few freak outs , I talked to his sister the other day and was freaked by her voice...it was him. I'm okay but I still miss my silent benevolent presence...my still small voice telling me everythng is ok

Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Okay so I will admit it, when it comes to movies I am horribly behind the times. I do like movies but I don't like theaters. I find the seats uncomfortable and wiggle constantly ticking off those around me. I don't like that I can't pause the movie and go pee. Lastly I can't stand the "community" aspect of the movies. So sometimes I don't see things for years. I just saw "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" last night and loved it!

It's the story of a transgendered East German rock band lounge singer. It wasn't really all that clear to me if I should think of her/him as a gay male, a transsexual or a cross dresser but I thought the performance of the star John Cameron Mitchell was so good.

It is partially based on based on Aristophanes' speech in Plato's Symposium, explains that human beings were once round, two-headed, four-armed, and four-legged beings. Angry gods split these early humans in two, leaving the separated people with a lifelong yearning for their other half. Hedwig believe that another character Johnny Gnosis is her other half and in the movie she is riven to either reunite him or destroy him.

I won't go on about the plot and I'm not even quite sure what happened but I do know that the movie somehow touched me. So tell me if you know... Did Hedwig die?

Hopefully...

Well I filed on the psycho and her do nothing husband today. The court date is 8:45 on August 29th at the Issaquah Courthouse. It cost me 25.00. Now I just have to figure out how to let her know. The certified letter approach did not work very well before and now she may refuse to sign for it. I can have the sheriff's office inform her which I kind of like for shock value but I also hate to take up their valuable time. I can hire a process server to do it which will probably be my choice. I could also have an adult not involved in the case do it...any volunteers?

Oh and I filed for 2000.00 even though the deposit was 1000.00. I figure this won't matter and she still won't pay. I researched collection agencies a bit and it appears they want 40% of my judgement. So filing for more seems to be the only way to maybe recoup my money.

Booyaw! Take that you crazy *&^%!!

Diva

Well I blogged about a new client and how weird she was and her turret. Well I still stand by my reaction to the turret but I really like this woman.

I must admit I am conditioned to dislike rich people at this point. My two year long experience with my other main client plus some others have show me that a lot of rich folks are spoiled, affected and rude. But not this newest one. She is smart well traveled and open minded. Her house is a museum of art from all over the world. So fascinating you can't help but linger and stop and stare. There are ornately carved masks from all over the world and not your garden variety "We got a mask in Italy", huge imposing masks that take over walls.

I was in Peru in November and visited Machu Picchu, she stayed overnight and took part in ancient Incan ceremonies. My boyfriend went to Nepal and climbed to Everest Base Camp, she lived there for a time. I have a car, she has had five Ferrari's...wow. But she I like her, she's interesting. Surprisingly we seem to have a lot in common...how is this possible?

Last week she went to visit a photographer friend who hangs out in the Tenderloin District in San Francisco with the Tranny's. He was having a book signing for his new book of photographs of the regulars in a bar named Diva's. He somehow realized my business is named after a drag show (I don't want to name the business here, email me and I will tell you) and personally enscribed a book for me that she brought back for me....very cool.

I had an opinion and she changed it. I like that.

The Latest

I gave my landlord until today to give me my money and again...nothing. I was looking at the Small Claims Court website and they suggest mediation before court, so I called. I am waiting for a call back from a telephone concilator. Hopefully they can bring this to a close and soon.

Landlord Update

Okay so I sent the ltter to my landlord demanding my money back here it is....

Nicole,
This letter is to inform you of my demand that my deposit of 1000.00 be returned by June 27th 2008. It may be mailed to PO Box $@# Preston, Wa 98050. Please limit any and all communication with me to mail or by email 123@yahoo.com and refrain from contacting me by phone.
According to Washington State Landlord Tenant Act
If a deposit or nonrefundable fee is charged, the lease or rental agreement must be in writing, and must include the terms and conditions under which any deposit will be returned. A deposit cannot be withheld for normal wear and tear. If a tenant pays a deposit, the landlord must provide a document describing the condition of the rental unit. The landlord is required to keep deposits in a trust account, and must also provide the tenant with a receipt and the name and address of the depository. Any interest earned on a deposit belongs to the landlord.
The landlord has 14 days after a tenant moves out to return a deposit, or give a written explanation of why it (or any part of it) was not refunded. If a landlord does not comply, the full amount of the deposit must be refunded to the tenant, regardless of any claims by the landlord that the tenant is not entitled to a refund.
If the tenant takes the landlord to court, and it is ruled that the landlord intentionally did not give the statement or return the money, the court can award the tenant up to twice the amount of the deposit.
I did not receive any such explanation nor did I receive my deposit back so I am entitled to the full amount. I moved out on May 31st and did not receive a letter postmarked as of June 15th. Please give this your full and quick attention. Let me be clear, ignoring me will not make this matter go away. I will pursue this matter until I receive my deposit back.

Melissa

To which on July 9th I recieved this response...

I received you letter TODAY. So sorry that you have not received it. I took care of the problem, and wasn't planing on any charges to you. I made a check and posted it to be mailed while I was out of town. I'm guessing that you didn't get it.

I can mail it on Friday or you can pick it up? let me know. But FYI it is for $800. I will provide a copy of the agrement if that would help. there was a nonrefundable $100 cleaning charge and nonrefundable pet deposit of $100 as well.

Thank you,

Nichole

I sent this response...

Please mail it.

Melissa

and she said...

not a problem. I will inclose a copy of the retention, ok. Sorry about this, it is all my fault not paying attention. Mean no harm. I hope no hard feelings...

And as of today...nothing. So I've emailed her a texted her and I called her soon to be ex husband who knows nothing. So my last email is this...

Nicole,
This has taken long enough. If I do not receive the money you owe me by Monday the 21st I will file in small claims court. At that point there will be court costs and you will owe me more. I suggest you give this your immediate attention. I have been very understanding for the past 6 months but my patience is gone. Pay me what you owe me now. Once I file I will not withdraw my complaint only to lose money.

Melissa

So what do you all think?

Cats Everywhere

I'm sorry I'm just not a cat person. The thing is my boyfriend really really is. How did I end up in such a predictament? The one before the one now was a dog trainer, that was fabulous! Unfortunately that was not meant to be and this one is fabulous in his own right....tall, good-looking (don't take the hang-gliding picture as proof) and oh so smart.... but he is a

Cat person...

How did this happen? I take issue with all things cat. I don't like the whole litter box thing. Seriously a box of poo in the house? Yeuw!! We discussed it and I said I will do this this and this as long as I don't have to touch that thing and it was agreed...but his nose sucks and he never remembers and I end up nagging. I hate nagging but a full box of poo? Worse than a halfway full one by far. Plus it isn't really contained to the box. There is usually a trail of litter from the box out the laundry door.

Then there are the hair balls, omigod deeegusting. I read somewhere that Persians have up to 240 miles of hair on their bodies. Well I am here to tell you it's true. You can wake in the middle of the night to hear any one of the three coughing up a long roll of hair. At first I though it was an errant poop but was told it's "just hair" as if that makes it better. I've stepped in many a hairball mess and it's cold and wet and you never know where it will be. The noise they make is awful. But hey the hair is everywhere so how can they help it.

I also take issue with the "ninja cat" behavior. I can be peacefully sleeping and since there are no doors on the house " ninja cat" will leap on my face. The other night I was awoken at 2:30 am with a claw in my boob. Apparently the little beast needed some traction and pulled himself up...by my boob. Rather shocking at that hour. The dog we leave downstairs and she stays, the cats seem to be everywhere all at once.

We have three because he is babysitting two for the ex at the moment. Apparently she has some issue in her life at the moment so that caring or her beasts is difficult at the moment. I know he loves the cats but I will be very glad when there is just one not three and doors :)

Lola and Hank

My dog Lola is a Schnoodle, half mini Schnauzer and half mini Poodle. She is now known as a "Designer" dog and sold for upwards of 1500.00. While I will admit to being a bad example and buying her at a pet store, I did not spend anywhere near that much for her. More like 300.00 I think. She was a mutt when I got her and in my mind remains so but that's a good thing.

However, she is a good example of why not to buy from a pet store. She has had food allergies, chronic gastritis, many retained baby teeth, loose dew claws, fatty tumors and luxating patella's, better known as loose kneecaps.

I knew about the kneecaps from the beginning but was told they wouldn't be a problem, they were. She decided a cat needed to be caught and no baby gate could hold her. Her knee popped out and had to be surgically repaired.

Before the surgery she was good with other dogs but after she decided that she no longer wished to be jumped on or play that way with other dogs. Who could blame her? So I would just warn people off. Ask "is your dog a puppy?" and if they answer was yes, say "she isn't very nice to puppies". If they ignored me she would tell them off in her sternest voice. She has never drawn blood (maybe she would but I don't let it get that far) but she can get a bit fiercesome. It never fails to make me laugh a little because she is a raggedy little cutie but she can make a big lab say "Oops, so sorry ma'm. I didn't mean to make you mad" as he belly crawls away. How can one so small command such respect?

This went on until she met Hank, my roommates long-haired, Blue merle Chihuahua. He somehow penetrated her cold facade and made her play again. Mostly it consisted of wrestling and Hank chewing on her ears but I was glad to see it :)

Okay well the video turned out to be really long but if you can stand it watch it. There is no sound. Lola either liked or hated her new toy :)

Our House

Construction has started on another phase of the house. The upper floor will be the master suite and the lower a dining/sitting room. Check out the mess! The room behind Mark in the third picture has floor to ceiling windows with a view of Si. That was phase one and it now operates as a "workroom" it's going to be fabulous but admittedly the mess is driving me a bit nuts

No reason for this except I keep seeing them advertised on Craigslist and I think they are they cutest freakin' things!

I think a Dumbo Rat might be in my animal future!

Seven!!

This morning I was walking Miss Lola down the dirt road in front of the houseand I saw two Bald Eagles flying around above the road. Wow!! I thought that's cool. I came around the corner and Mark was waiting for me in the middle of the street. Hurry up he said there are SEVEN eagles flying around between the house and the river. SEVEN!! I missed the Eagles club completely but I did see five. Wow wow wow!!!

Seven Plagues of the Apartment Apocalypse

Okay this may be a long one :)

In January I moved from Bellevue to Fall City. I mostly live out here in North Bend but with the remodel going on I feel the need to have my own space for a bit longer, September is the official date when I will move all my stuff in. So my roommate moved in with her boyfriend at the end of the year and I needed a place that wasn't 1500.00 a month (lovely, lovely Bellevue) hence the move to Fall City.

I thought it was a perfect solution. Halfway between Bellevue and North Bend it was an adorable three bedroom one bath on acres and acres of horse property. A view to die for, nice landlords, plenty of space and half the price of my two bedroom town home in Bellevue. I could have it all..my space, cheap rent, working plumbing and a roof....or so I thought.

So I found it on Craigslist "Three bedroom, one bath on Horse property-$850.00 a month including utilities". I emailed thinking it was a typo and surely they meant $1850.00. Nope, a nice lady emailed back saying it was right, with a picture. Cute little Mother-in-Law and she was nice too. We had a long dog conversation and seemed to get along great. Sure her answers were a little too familiar but she did say she'd had a bit of wine, no biggie. That should have been my red flag and it was the last time I felt good about this place.

So I looked and it seemed great. She was a bit strange...about thirty with three kids and ginormous stripper boobs but again who am I to judge. So she wants first months rent and a thousand to move in because it's furnished partially, okay no problem but then I could never reach her to sign a lease and give her the money. It bugged me. Over and over again I would try and get a hold of her and I couldn't . I needed to know so that I could give notice, start packing, etc. Okay I thought one more try and then I'm not doing this and wouldn't you know it, that last time she came through....bad mistake.

I went back and forth a couple times, one time the toilet was filled with poo. Another there were corn chips everywhere. Well the kids are playing in there but it will be cleaned no worries, okay. Take another load over no water. Finally it was all in. Then came the smell...cat pee. It permeated one entire bedroom. "Wow" she said "I had no idea the previous tenants had cats". Hmmm, she had told me the tenant before me was her sister she didn't know she had cats? Then she told me "By the way I wouldn't drink the water", what? She said "Well I probably isn't dangerous, but I wouldn't drink it" Hmm hmmm. I tried to take a shower that first day and it smelled like rotten eggs and was only a trickle.

Then came the bugs. Flies and yellowjackets littered the window sils. Which by the way wouldn't open. I went out onto my cute porch to find a "chewer" had spat all over the deck and left cans everywhere. My water (which I can't drink) randomly turned off. The washer and dryer I bought from Costco in exchange for rent reducton sat in the rain in the driveway waiting for her husband to bring them in. He told me one night when drunk he "loved me" and that he loved us "older" women because our drama is over.

They started divorce proceedings, the furnace stopped working...in February, the horses were neglected. I can't even remember all that happened but needless to say it turned out to be a very expensive storage unit that I never slept in. I bided my time until my lease was up and just got out as soon as I could.

Now she is saying I ruined her apartment and won't give me my 1000.00 bucks back. I'm filing a small claims court case on Friday and never ignoring what my mom calls my "still small voice" again.

I got a new client today. She is a heiress of some sort. Again Uber moola, yay me! I must say rich people are weird!

I Imapped it before I went over just to take a little looksie on how much I should charge the (yes, I do that! It's my "platinum" package damnit) and knew it was going to a be wingdinger and for sure it was. Owned by her "Trust" deeded to her in a settlement.

As we walked the property I looked over to the side a saw a turret. I said rather stupidly "oh you have a turret" She said "Yes, we saw them all over Europe and thought they looked so great we decided we had to have one that used to be the carport"

Ohhhhhhh....weird.

Torn....

So I've been self-employed for about 4 years now. Being self-employed is hard! I don't know what I was thinking, that I'd just hang out a shingle and, Whammo!! I'd make money but it hasn't been that easy.

One of my first clients was a deaf dog. It was the dog of my friends sister in law. When she called up she said "When you get here, he will bite you" and I said "Well can you put him on a leash?" She did but I took one step too close and got bit on the kneecap, twice. I still took him on as a client and in retrospect I probably shouldn't have.

I've lived and learned, and now am more selective about what I take on. I no longer take on things that are beyond my capabilities. I have a fabulous circle of experienced people and if a dog is too aggressive for me I refer he or she on.

That being said I still struggle with taking on clients I know from experience are destined to fail merely to pay my bills. Case in point, I got a call tonight from a woman who wanted her ten year old to go through a private training program by himself. She wanted nothing to do with the training and wanted the dog to only obey her son. What? Why? Huh? So if the kid is in school you may not want to.....call the dog?! So you won't be present during the lessons? No she said coughing a nasty smokers hack.

I KNOW this won't work. I've done it before with a twelve year old girl. She lived in a freaking mansion in Medina and I couldn't resist. The dog didn't get trained and I felt bad. So she had to call me back and I agonized for about ten minutes. What to do? What to do?

Sorry all my nice people I refer to, but she is your problem now.

Okay last one. Then I'm off the art thing :0 This is "Flowing Dress" by Fletcher Sibthorp. I love it and I don't know why. All of these are in my storage and I miss them terribly. Plus I dabble a bit in dog photography for my clients.

My other favorite Issac Maimon. Told you I like a lot of color :)

Okay all you've been talking about art so here is mine. His name is Ron Burns and he does animal art. I don't know if it makes me slightly retarded and juvenile but I LOVE him (plus if you google him he's ultra hot) I have four of his works and my ulitmate would comission him to do Miss Lola.

Well I suck at adding pictures to this blog but let's just say fun was had by Mark, check out the look of bliss in his aerial self portrait, and I will post more later

Whee!!

My birthday gift to Mark this year was a tandem paragliding ride. He is flying tomorrow at 12:15 off of Tiger Mountain. Any and all are invited to view with me but I will post pictures as soon as I can :)

I was perusing Mr. E's newsvine and I came across an interesting discussion. Remember all the talk a week or two ago about what was on Barack Obama's Ipod? Well this discussion was if you were running for president what song would disqualify you from being president and what track is it?

I thought well I have nothing that bad....

Then I looked and four tracks in is "F*&k the Pain Away" by Teaches of Peaches. Oops. What about you guys?

I Be Old!!



Well I turned 41 yesterday and went out with a small group of friends (smaller than I thought, ahem, what no Happy Birthday even?) and I'm not what I used to be.



I had a roommate from about 22 to 27 and we used to party! About 6 days a week we would spend about an hour playing tequila Yahtzee. The rules left with a good portion of my brain cells but it involved drinking about a pint of tequila every night in our prefunction portion of the evening. Then we would spend about two hours showering and primping, all the while finishing off that bottle, only to go out and spending another three or four hours drinking much more. Then the hangover cure the next day which was lots of crappy McDonald's food.



We had several bars we would go to; Papagayo's, Black Angus, Charlie's and some Irish name I can't remember now. I drank a lot....a whole lot and did stupid stupid things. I can honestly say I wasn't sober every time I drove and I wasn't as discerning in my..ummm..ahhhhh..."relationship choices" as I should have been. I'm honestly quite horrified at the way I behaved when I think back.



I guess I don't have the alcoholic issues buried in my genetic makeup, fortunately. As it happened this roommate and I parted company when I was 27 and for a time I continued the heavy drinking. Well a very short time. All of a sudden I realized that drinking tequila by myself just wasn't fun, so I stopped. I still drank with friends, sometimes a lot but eventually after realizing I felt like poop for days after, I stopped that too. Now I stop at two glasses of wine. One while making dinner, one while eating.



But last night I had two glasses of wine before we left and three Pomegranate Martini's with dinner and today I'm so tired I can barely function. I used to drink all that six days a week and go to work! I guess the eventual inability to tolerate all that partying is nature's way of telling all of us it's time to stop and be an adult. Most of us listen I think but some don't and get themselves into trouble, that's sad. I'm glad I did......most of the time :)

My Familiar

I am a self confessed dog person. It's not that I don't like cats, I just don't get them. You pet them and they seem to be enjoying it when all of a sudden WHACK! They bite or claw you. Huh? You were purring, seemed to be enjoying it and now I'm bleeding. With dogs I can see all the warning signs and steer clear of danger but with cats it isn't so clear to me. Oh and the whole throwing up daily long rolls of hair and pooping in the house? Not so fond of that either. Plus they can be anywhere at a moments notice. Every single night Newton (not the cat in the picture) jumps on my face or back and wakes me up. At least with the dog I hear her coming but everything with cats is a sneak attack.

So the kitty in the picture is named Bismarck. He is a Persian cat of undetermined age rescued by my boyfriend and his ex. He was apparently left in one of those metal boxes outside of a shelter. He normally doesn't stay with us but something is going on with the ex and so we have three cats and a dog now.

The thing is that he loves me. I don't say that lightly either. This cat looks at me with constant unabashed adoration. I go upstairs he comes with me, I sit down he's there, I go the bathroom he follows, I sleep.....he watches......closely. I guess I should feel flattered but frankly I'm a bit unnerved. See I don't completely trust him. He has twice inflicted pretty good gashes on me. So I proceed with caution. It is quite silly because he's tiny. The most impossibly bitty paws. Eyes so goopy you have to give him a wipe every couple of hours.

But still...

When he jumps on my lap I pet him. I think I'm afraid not to

Is everyone as weird as we are?

I made Chicken Romanoff tonight and we got into this whole story about the Stroganoffs and Romanoffs being Russian warring families. We made up a whole back story to this meal. Kind of like the Hatfields and McCoys. Just wondering.

All Dogs Should Be Trained!!

I had new clients today. Really really nice people. They have a Golden Retriever who is one and a Labrador Retriever who is two. Here's the rub the man is just recovering from a broken leg and the woman has had four strokes and back surgery...and they chose those two particular breeds of dogs, hmmmm. Okay, maybe a smaller dog would have been a better choice for those in not such robust health but understand, most of us have our particular "breeds". That dog you have always wanted or had and just have to have another.

So I go over there to find out why they have called me. I find the reason is because the dogs have a couple of behavioral issues. The first happens shortly after I get there. I am molested when I get in the door. Not just sort of, I am violated in such a way that only a dog can do :) Of course the pet parents try to stop them but I like to see it as it really is, so I tell them to stop. I am nearly knocked down (I am a big girl , that's not easy to do), the Golden has my entire arm in his mouth, the Lab is all up in my stuff and they both are jumping all over me. Ahhh, I see.

"So what would you like to accomplish" I say. Well they want that to stop. "Okay. Do they have any commands?" No. Okay. They are one and two, Why not? Well we don't really need them to do all that stuff, we just don't want them to do this. "Okay, well that isn't going to work" Why not?

Let me explain...

We invite dogs into our houses and expect them to know what to do. We expect them to know the rules and follow them without telling them what they are in a language they understand. If they pee on the rug, we shriek at them. If they chew on a chair, we spank them. If you don't explain the rules and give a dog something to do he will revert back to being a dog. He will chew, he will pee, he will bark, he will hump, he will jump and yes he might even bite. No other animal that I can think of is expected to act in a way other than the way nature intended except for dogs. Have you ever heard of animal control being called on a biting cat?

So if you invite a dog into your home, train it. I don't care if it's all tricks, if he walks around on his back legs like a circus dog or rolls across the room. Give him something acceptable to you to do. If you don't give him something to do, trust me he will still entertain himself and you may not like what he chooses to do.

In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibilty of becoming part dog. - Edward Hoagland

Blogging

A blog about blogging, how interesting?! Well here's the deal my two loyal readers :) You two are so good at this but I can't seem to do the short and sweet. I love to write always have but I can't seem to master this whole thing. Which is why I get maybe one every few days out to your five. Do you suppose it's because of your journalism background?

When I was going through my "who am I" phase I took some journalism classes and couldn't seem to boil it down to who, what, where, when and why. I had long flowery descriptions with lots of adjectives. I did much much better in creative writing. I have a book written in my head complete with chapter headings, character descriptions and plot from beginning to end. It seems like it will be good to me but my process is oh so very long. I have written poetry (no I will never show it) and for a time entertains myself writing song spoofs. I have an absolutely filthy "Night before Christmas"


So it's not that I think I can't write, I'm pretty sure I can. I just can't do it quickly. Any suggestions?

This is what I see out my back window. It's a lousy photo but you can see Si and the Snoqualmie river. Aren't I lucky?

Cranky

I am self employed and rely on people paying me in a timely manner. They never do and it's making me cranky.

The deal is that I have a discount program in place for my every month clients. I do dog walking between 11 and 2 every week day and have about six clients that I send monthly bills to. The discount is for paying before or on the first of the month. No one does but they still take the discount.

I have tried highlighting the passage on the invoice that explains the discount, sending an email explaining the discount and verbally telling them...they still do it. So what's a walker to do? When they take the discount, do I correct them? Tell them they owe me fifty more dollars? Feels a bit confrontational to me. Take the discount away? Would I lose clients? Hmmmm hard to know.

So today is the 26th, they all got their invoices this week, they have to pay by tuesday but I'm out of town tomorrow and four are out of town next week, so they pay today right? Well one paid and didn't sign the check. Another didn't leave it. Still another claims they didn't get the invoice and lastly my personal favorite claims the dog must have eaten the check, sigh.

Size Doesn't Matter

This is a fierce dog. I can't tell you his name because I'm trying to be as anonymous as possible here but I will say he is is very fierce. He weighs four pounds, maybe. He is fully grown and a butt. Approach him and he will bite you. I know he's bitten me several hundred times, almost daily or the past year and a half actually but I love him to death.

He's a puppy mill dog. If you ever have any doubts that all the stories about how bad such dogs can be, don't doubt it. They aren't bred for temperament or health only for quantity. Their mothers are started as soon as they go into heat and don't stop until they physically can't give birth any longer. then they are killed, sometimes not so humanely. He is pretty much insane. So reactive that the sight of another dog will send him into a pseudo seizure. His eyes roll back in his head and only the whites show. He foams at the mouth and barks until he becomes hoarse. If he's close enough he will bite, don't doubt that for a second. If he can't bite the dog and you are close enough he will bite you, repeatedly.

Fortunately for all involved he really doesn't have the jaw strength to do any harm. It's like getting a big blood blister. Unfortunately for other such dogs they can cause harm...big time harm. It isn't their fault it's the fault of those who bred them but unlike others who say there aren't any bad dogs only bad owners...I disagree, there are bad dogs. Like this one. He has hips that are like swiss cheese, one has been replaced already. His teeth will all fall out eventually. His trachea collaspes and he chokes to right it. He's a mess and there is nothing I can do. Fortunately he landed in a home that can afford to help with his physical problems and has the sense to shield him from emotional ones.

So when you see that adorable puppy in a pet store don't buy it. It isn't worth the cost to you or the dog.

My Favorite Story

I have a client who I see every single weekday morning. They are my bread and butter, three dogs who are the charges of a bigwig in a certain large software company. I can't give too many details here I don't want to harm this relationship but I will say this is uber money beyond what most of us will ever see in our lifetimes.

The problem here is that I can't get through to dog or owner. The owner is used to throwing money at a problem and having it solved. They forget these are living breathing creatures with three individual brains. At first I tried an tried to get this person to work with his/her dogs. I would work with the dogs diligently for hours, leave homework and send emails. I couldn't quite figure out how these dogs would do so well for me and so poorly for the owner. Eventually I found the owner wouldn't work with these poor creatures. Still I tried.. I would tell this very smart person what to do...afterall I was hired as the expert right? And get a cold stare. Shudder.

Then came the firings. I was told that apparently "I don't like rich people" and was fired. Huh? I LOVE rich people! Especially when they pay me large amounts of money. I was hired back and fired about three more times. Why did I take it? Pots of money :)

The day I figured out I just needed to give up and keep my mouth shut went like this...

I had a crappy old Dodge Neon, all three dogs seatbelted into the back seat. I went into the bank or something and left a plastic pop bottle between the front seat. When I returned I saw nothing amiss and hopped on the freeway. All of a sudden something wet hit me in the back of the head, again and again. I tried to see what was going on in the back and couldn't. Dodging whatever it was I headed for the nearest exit. I turned at the light to see my pop bottle riddled with teeth marks, spinning on the back seat, spraying pop all over the car while three befuddled dogs watched it spin. Cackling like a mad woman I chucked the bottle out the window while wiping pop from my glasses. I thought "They will never train these dogs, just shut up and take the money" and we've been happy ever since :)

Sex and Sleep

I don't sleep with my boyfriend. I can't.

He has sleep apnea and has to wear a machine to help him breathe. It's really very important for him to wear it every night but it's a little like what I imagine it would be like to sleep with an intensive care patient. No beep....beep...beeep of a heart monitor, but still. It makes him look a bit like a cross between a space alien and a scuba diver. It blows air at me if we are face to face and it is very noisy. He didn't wear it until he got me all sucked into the relationship the trickster :)

He also has ADD. I don't know if anyone knows an adult with this disorder but it makes his brain constantly work at full speed ahead. In order for him to turn off his brain he must have the television on so that he distracts his ever working brain and falls asleep.

Lastly there are the cats... three Persians. Big fluff balls, that like him have a bit trouble breathing so they snort and snore... Throw up and scratch...Meow and fight....jump up and down...alll night.

I need silence and darkness to sleep. So you can see how our sleeping styles are not suited to each other. At first we fought about how to sleep...he couldn't change and neither could I. We agonized over how to solve this terrible problem.

I remembered a friend of a friend who claimed that when you are truly in love you can sleep through anything. Maybe I was waiting for that....it never came. So now I sleep in another room with my dog , with no TV and quiet. I think you can be in love and sleep in the other room.


I do visit quite often :)

The Mouse Master

I live most of my days in North Bend Washington. This is where my boyfriend lives. He has a house on the south fork of the Snoqualmie that he is remodeling. It's going from 1500 square feet to 4300 hundred square feet due to a timber frame addition(s). It will be fabulous! Someday......

Right now we live in a disorganized mess, you can set something down only to have it disappear an instant later. There are piles of trash and wood everywhere. We also have new critters to go along with the dog and three cats, mice and rats.... many many of them.

It started about a year ago. The dog would be sound asleep in the living room when all of a sudden she would leap to her feet and roar into the bathroom. She would skitter across the floor, barking and snarling, scattering rugs in her wake. It was disturbing! Is she crazy? What the hell? We would go in the bathroom and see and hear.... nothing.

This went on for months and we did nothing. My poor dog was trying to tell us something and we weren't listening closely enough. Then one day I was,ahem, using the facilities when I heard what sounded like a monster trying to claw its way out from under the sink. I got Mark and we stood in the bathroom listening, there it was! Claws! So we knew Lola was right, there were creatures in our walls.

I am a dog trainer by trade and resolutely refuse to kill these creatures. Afterall I have a few dogs who aren't as smart as these creatures seem to be. Mark? he's just too tenderhearted, shhh don't tell I told. I have been on a mission to rid us of these tiny guests. I've done research about the inner workings of the mouse mind, sprinkled flour like pixie dust all over the house looking for tiny footprints and stuffed steel wool in every crack and crevice.

Still they lurk....

We open a wall and pounds of dog food fall out. We plug one hole and find another. We trap them, the one pictured is a pack rat, drive them across the river and they return. I've threatened to tag them all with nail polish, convinced we are trapping and releasing a family of four, to no avail.

Until the "The Mouse Master"

It's a strange looking box with two compartments and a hole between the two. The mice go into the hole and a paddle wheel flips them into a "escape proof" compartment. We caught six our first two days. It seems to work, but at night I sometimes think I hear tiny little mouse giggles as they return from their trip across the river

Split the Difference

I've noticed that with every relatonship I have there is always a "bone" of contention. Something that no matter how hard you try you will never agree on or to. Things that in the grand scheme of things don't really matter, but for some reason you stoutly stick to your guns.... both of you, and argue your point til the end.

I have a friend who cannot be on time. We have had many a conversation about why it is... or isn't, important to be on time. Neither of us in 29 years have changed our minds on the subject. Over time I have decided that either I give up my timeliness, or this person. I chose her and adjust my life to her schedule. Those who know of the situation are aghast that I would so willingly give in to this horrible situation! But I've come to realize she isn't going to change so I have to and it's ok.

I'm not so successful with my significant other. We have several points of disagreement. Abortion being a biggie... I pro, he con. We have had many a heated "discussion" on the topic. In fact we can barely speak on the topic. I mean really how dare he even think to disagree with me? I'm obviously right, he is obviously wrong. I must continue until he sees the error of his ways... this is so very important to me.

Our other "bone" is how to sleep. Light on....light off? TV on TV off? I can't sleep with it on he can't sleep with it off. Who is right? Why should one prevail over the other? Whose sleep is more precious?

Even arguing can cause an arguement. Our styles are different. I want to continue until it's settled, how dare you walk away before it's all done? Why should you dictate the end? I will NOT shut up when you tell me to.

I need to remember this...

My dad died about a year and a half ago. Two things that weighed heavily on my moms mind after he died were...

She wouldn't let him paint their house a bright color when he wanted to. They could never agree about color. He was colorblind and white never appealed to him. And they continously argued about the temperature of the house she 72, he 68. She said soon after he died "why didn't I just let him paint the fucking house?"

My mom never swears and it made me think...

So who cares about his opinion and mine. I'm just going to let him have the "fucking" TV on and shut up. I don't want that to weigh heavily on my mind later.

Cat vs dog

I'M 40!

or

What I did and didn't do....



So about 2 1/2 years ago I wrote a blog on what I wanted to do before I was 40,http://puppydogtales1.blogspot.com/2005/08/things-i-want-to-do-before-im-forty.html . I haven't blogged for a long time and actually forgot about this list but recently re-read my list. Here's how I did...

Have a someone tell me I'm "too thin"?

-Never happened

Have a body I can put in a bikini?

-Not so much.... well I could but I'm afraid children would run and hide :)

Move to a new city?
-Yup, North Bend where when I wrote this I thought I'd never even go, on purpose anyway.

Make a living off my own business?

-Done! And quite nicely thanks you.

Go to Hong Kong, Africa and Italy?

-No but I did go to Peru and Africa is coming up along with Paris.


Write a book?

-No I started but haven't finished. It will be good when I'm done...someday.

Sing in front of a crowd?

-Does Karaoke count?

Skydive?
-Changed my mind on this one. Don't really feel a need anymore.

I found the man too!! He snores, is a cat person, loves for me to cook and hardly ever takes me out. Hardly reads, never takes my side and does think I'm beautiful (weirdo). He is hardly anything I wanted and everything I needed. I am a lucky girl.

DOG SHOW

Over the weekend I went to a dog show. After seeing all the different breeds and looking back on it now, I can't resist the temptation to compare the people in my life to the different breeds of dogs. I was struck by how the characteristics of the dogs related to some of them...

When we walked by the Poodles everyone was crowded around taking pictures. I swear that dog was posing. It just knew everyone was looking and it. It tossed its head, looked coyly over its shoulder and smiled. I had a roommate for about five years who was the female human version of that dog! Everywhere we went she knew everyone was looking at her. Nevermind I was right there and occasionally not looking too shabby. The whole world was there for her.

My Mom and Dad would be a Terrier (any which one of them) and a English Mastiff respectively. Dad is regal, thoughtful and yes a bit slow moving. Mom runs around you yapping, nipping, and making a lot of noise. My sister would be a Golden Retriever eager to please, perfect and doing exactly what she's told.

I have an ex-boyfriend who would have to be Chow Chow. Extremely guarded, showy and given half a chance would wander off to another owner or yard.

My favorite"dawg" reminds me of his current dog. He has a Basset who are a little lower to the ground than others of his kind but barrel chested, so lovable and such a huge presence that they seem as big as a Dane.

Then there is me...I thought I wouldn't try to compare me to anything but then it came to me what I'm like. I guess I'd compare myself to a Border Collie. Energetic, smart and eager to please. But if they don't have enough to keep themselves busy they get a little crazy and try to chew through walls or their own feet.

SCENES FROM A CLASS

I had a puppy class the other night. In that class there is a four month old Chocolate Lab named "Teddy". He's in that stage of dog life where he is extremely clumsy, hyper-active, and seems to have more skin than body, it kind rolls loosely on his frame. His owner is a sixteen year old girl. She usually comes alone but brought her sixteen year old boyfriend last week.

The dog has a jumping up problem. Well not really a problem for him:) So as they do he was repeatedly jumping on the sixteen year old boyfriend. Everytime he did the boyfriend would thwack him on the head with the nylon leash and tell the dog he was going to "kick his ass". Now I'm sure this really didn't hurt the dog... but still.

So I watched this about three times and when I couldn't take it anymore..I pulled the kid down an aisle away from the class. I said "if there is going to be any ass kicking in this class it's going to be me kicking yours if you don't stop hitting that dog". He turned bright red, pulled himself up to his full 5'3" and said "Oh yeah?" (brilliant aren't they at that age?) I got right back in his face and said "Yeah" and turned back to my class.

About five minutes later I noticed his girlfriend was there but he was gone. She said he suddenly realized he "had something to do". I don't think he told her what happened. Sigh, I may get fired someday for something like this but I can't help it. What I really wanted to do was tell the girl to get rid of him. She seems nice and nothing says "white trash" to me like hitting your animals. Oh well she'll learn....hopefully I would hate to think of her being on the end of that leash someday.

Pet Peeves

Okay I'll admit it I'm a bit cranky today. I was walking the dog and things were bugging me so I decided to write them down as well as try to elevate my mood by writing down what I do like (although that might make me crankier if none are present today)

So my pet peeves are....
Head colds-There is nothing worse (okay, yes, war is worse. I'm being strictly selfish) than a runny nose and no tissue.
Loose dogs- People who let their dogs barrel out of their driveways at everyone who passes by.
Tied Dogs- People who ALWAYS tie their dogs up. There are a couple people in my neighborhood who leave their dogs tied out all the time. It makes me want to cry each time I pass them.
Poverty-Being very broke sucks! (Yes, again I know starving children in India...remember I'm being selfish)
Unreliability- People who you can't rely on to do what they say. If you aren't going to do it don't say it! Someone I know might think this is directed at him, it's not I'm talking about someone else.
Clients- Don't hire me if you aren't going to listen to me!
SUV's- Being a little car driver I can't stand being at a light and not being able to see the light or anything else for that matter. Oh and when they go one mile per hour over speed bumps. Isn't that what they are supposed to do? Go over Mountains and stuff?
Zits, Fat (body fat that is), people who have never done retail and treat clerks like crap. Gas prices, Bush, RAIN!!! So annoyed with Mother Nature right now.

Okay what do I like?
A cold night when I'm really tired and going to bed on clean sheets with lots of blankets and pillow and a clean dog or a warm back (one warm back in particular)
Puppies! Can't be cranky around them
Good Hair days
Diamonds, so terribly materialistic of me :) I don't have any right now but still love them
New Clients who pay the first time I meet them

My "Special" Needs Class

So I started a new group class at your local large pet chain type place. It has turned out to be a bit of a strange class. In almost every class there is one student and/or dog who just isn't really paying attention. In this class no one is paying attention. NO ONE!

There is a large Golden/Lab mix, a Mastiff pup and a Chihuahua/Pomeranian mix. Now you wouldn't expect any trouble from a Lab/Golden mix but he is verrrry territorial large and frankly a bit scary. The Mastiff is so big, clumsy and lazy that he's kind of like the fat kid that got picked last in P.E. (I can say that being a picked last type myself) and the Pom/Chihuahua mix is.... how should I say it? Ummmmmmm.....mean and spoiled!

Now the owners (in the same order as their dogs) are a family "horribly concerned" about the Lab/Goldens aggression, but find it hysterically funny when he cowers in fear from lack of socialization. The owners of the Mastiff are spoiling the dog so badly that they are going to have a very large (180 lbs+), untrained and spoiled beast in their bed. The Pom/Chihuahua owner knew her dog LOVED the treats I was doling out but found out you had to cut them yourself, sniffed, said "I don't cut up anything" and turned tail with her Louis Vuitton dog carrier and left.

Sigh........usually there are one or maybe on a bad night two in a class but all of them!! I resorted to the last trick in my bag...........tricks. Told them all how to get their dogs to sit up and sent them home. Maybe next week they'll be ready to learn.