Monday, June 30, 2008


A blog about blogging, how interesting?! Well here's the deal my two loyal readers :) You two are so good at this but I can't seem to do the short and sweet. I love to write always have but I can't seem to master this whole thing. Which is why I get maybe one every few days out to your five. Do you suppose it's because of your journalism background?

When I was going through my "who am I" phase I took some journalism classes and couldn't seem to boil it down to who, what, where, when and why. I had long flowery descriptions with lots of adjectives. I did much much better in creative writing. I have a book written in my head complete with chapter headings, character descriptions and plot from beginning to end. It seems like it will be good to me but my process is oh so very long. I have written poetry (no I will never show it) and for a time entertains myself writing song spoofs. I have an absolutely filthy "Night before Christmas"

So it's not that I think I can't write, I'm pretty sure I can. I just can't do it quickly. Any suggestions?

Thursday, June 26, 2008

This is what I see out my back window. It's a lousy photo but you can see Si and the Snoqualmie river. Aren't I lucky?

I am self employed and rely on people paying me in a timely manner. They never do and it's making me cranky.

The deal is that I have a discount program in place for my every month clients. I do dog walking between 11 and 2 every week day and have about six clients that I send monthly bills to. The discount is for paying before or on the first of the month. No one does but they still take the discount.

I have tried highlighting the passage on the invoice that explains the discount, sending an email explaining the discount and verbally telling them...they still do it. So what's a walker to do? When they take the discount, do I correct them? Tell them they owe me fifty more dollars? Feels a bit confrontational to me. Take the discount away? Would I lose clients? Hmmmm hard to know.

So today is the 26th, they all got their invoices this week, they have to pay by tuesday but I'm out of town tomorrow and four are out of town next week, so they pay today right? Well one paid and didn't sign the check. Another didn't leave it. Still another claims they didn't get the invoice and lastly my personal favorite claims the dog must have eaten the check, sigh.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Size Doesn't Matter
This is a fierce dog. I can't tell you his name because I'm trying to be as anonymous as possible here but I will say he is is very fierce. He weighs four pounds, maybe. He is fully grown and a butt. Approach him and he will bite you. I know he's bitten me several hundred times, almost daily or the past year and a half actually but I love him to death.
He's a puppy mill dog. If you ever have any doubts that all the stories about how bad such dogs can be, don't doubt it. They aren't bred for temperament or health only for quantity. Their mothers are started as soon as they go into heat and don't stop until they physically can't give birth any longer. then they are killed, sometimes not so humanely. He is pretty much insane. So reactive that the sight of another dog will send him into a pseudo seizure. His eyes roll back in his head and only the whites show. He foams at the mouth and barks until he becomes hoarse. If he's close enough he will bite, don't doubt that for a second. If he can't bite the dog and you are close enough he will bite you, repeatedly.
Fortunately for all involved he really doesn't have the jaw strength to do any harm. It's like getting a big blood blister. Unfortunately for other such dogs they can cause harm...big time harm. It isn't their fault it's the fault of those who bred them but unlike others who say there aren't any bad dogs only bad owners...I disagree, there are bad dogs. Like this one. He has hips that are like swiss cheese, one has been replaced already. His teeth will all fall out eventually. His trachea collaspes and he chokes to right it. He's a mess and there is nothing I can do. Fortunately he landed in a home that can afford to help with his physical problems and has the sense to shield him from emotional ones.
So when you see that adorable puppy in a pet store don't buy it. It isn't worth the cost to you or the dog.

Monday, June 23, 2008

My Favorite Story

I have a client who I see every single weekday morning. They are my bread and butter, three dogs who are the charges of a bigwig in a certain large software company. I can't give too many details here I don't want to harm this relationship but I will say this is uber money beyond what most of us will ever see in our lifetimes.

The problem here is that I can't get through to dog or owner. The owner is used to throwing money at a problem and having it solved. They forget these are living breathing creatures with three individual brains. At first I tried an tried to get this person to work with his/her dogs. I would work with the dogs diligently for hours, leave homework and send emails. I couldn't quite figure out how these dogs would do so well for me and so poorly for the owner. Eventually I found the owner wouldn't work with these poor creatures. Still I tried.. I would tell this very smart person what to do...afterall I was hired as the expert right? And get a cold stare. Shudder.

Then came the firings. I was told that apparently "I don't like rich people" and was fired. Huh? I LOVE rich people! Especially when they pay me large amounts of money. I was hired back and fired about three more times. Why did I take it? Pots of money :)

The day I figured out I just needed to give up and keep my mouth shut went like this...

I had a crappy old Dodge Neon, all three dogs seatbelted into the back seat. I went into the bank or something and left a plastic pop bottle between the front seat. When I returned I saw nothing amiss and hopped on the freeway. All of a sudden something wet hit me in the back of the head, again and again. I tried to see what was going on in the back and couldn't. Dodging whatever it was I headed for the nearest exit. I turned at the light to see my pop bottle riddled with teeth marks, spinning on the back seat, spraying pop all over the car while three befuddled dogs watched it spin. Cackling like a mad woman I chucked the bottle out the window while wiping pop from my glasses. I thought "They will never train these dogs, just shut up and take the money" and we've been happy ever since :)

Friday, June 06, 2008

Sex and Sleep

I don't sleep with my boyfriend. I can't.

He has sleep apnea and has to wear a machine to help him breathe. It's really very important for him to wear it every night but it's a little like what I imagine it would be like to sleep with an intensive care patient. No beep....beep...beeep of a heart monitor, but still. It makes him look a bit like a cross between a space alien and a scuba diver. It blows air at me if we are face to face and it is very noisy. He didn't wear it until he got me all sucked into the relationship the trickster :)

He also has ADD. I don't know if anyone knows an adult with this disorder but it makes his brain constantly work at full speed ahead. In order for him to turn off his brain he must have the television on so that he distracts his ever working brain and falls asleep.

Lastly there are the cats... three Persians. Big fluff balls, that like him have a bit trouble breathing so they snort and snore... Throw up and scratch...Meow and fight....jump up and down...alll night.

I need silence and darkness to sleep. So you can see how our sleeping styles are not suited to each other. At first we fought about how to sleep...he couldn't change and neither could I. We agonized over how to solve this terrible problem.

I remembered a friend of a friend who claimed that when you are truly in love you can sleep through anything. Maybe I was waiting for never came. So now I sleep in another room with my dog , with no TV and quiet. I think you can be in love and sleep in the other room.

I do visit quite often :)