Sunday, September 18, 2005

REUNION

My twenty year reunion was this past weekend. I went to the bar night but not the actual reunion, it cost too much. I resisted up until the very last moment. I bought the outfit and was all ready but refused to commit until that very day. I didn't want to go...at all. I was on the "lost" list even though I live downstairs from a "found" member of my class. I wouldn't let her rat me out and give away my secret location.

I thought it would be the very same as High School all the "Princesses" holding court. I looked up the website with all the information and sure enough there they all were, the planners of the reunion. Nope, just did not want to go. Still the new outfit was pretty cute and when the heck would I have an opportunity to wear it again (I never get taken out) so I went.

We got to the bar where it was held and lo and behold they were trying to charge $60.00 for the priviledge of standing with former classmates. No free drinks or food or even a band! What was this $60.00 for? The princesses tanning sessions? Hmmmm, had to find out so we snuck in.

I immediately wanted to run, but then started to look around. All the men were bald. Some simply thinning, but most totally bald! Like they just gave up the comb over and shaved. Okay this is good, I like it when a man admits his baldness and lets it go. And there they were the princesses...all anorexic and tanorexic. It's funny how those two maladies seem to go hand in hand, hmmm. So me and my weirdo farmers tan ventured further in...

I saw a classmate I used to hang with...Kelly, we had two free periods together and would go drive around and smoke. She was still very cool and harboring an old grudge with someone across the room. Interesting...I'm not the only fool who still can't stand that girl who stole my boyfriend when I was sixteen. Feeling emboldened I ventured further in....

Several hours and several drinks later I found myself in the bathroom with some friends. Some I still hang out with and some from High School. We were standing at one mirror and the princesses were holding court at the other. Even twenty years later we are still separating ourselves. So I whispered I was going to go over, say "Hi" and introduce myself. "NO" they all shrilled at me....but I tend to be a little contrary and I went. I was fully expecting another social snub twenty years later... and it came. But not from all, hmmmm. One girl turned and was completely unlike her high school self, Monica. DAMNIT! She broke all my previous held beliefs about the princesses!! But then again would I have walked over to them in high school? Probably not. So she changed and so did I. Don't get me wrong most were still awful but the one gave me hope.

Later I talked to another friend who had also gone and she said she felt weird about still feeling resentful. We decided that the reason we never got over those teenage "slights" and still can't stand those people was because we never met their adult selfs. We were stuck in all that selfish teenage angst and given the chance to know most as adults it would be different. Monica proved that to me. Although I would still like to give the princesses a sandwich.....

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

DOGGIE OF THE SEA

I took my dog Lola to the vet last week for her yearly shots and check up. I always swore I would never buy a dog from a pet store, but I did. I saw an ad in the paper four years ago when I was thinking about getting a new dog, it was for a Schnoodle. I had no idea what that was so I called. The woman who answered the phone told me she sold the dog but that she had seen one at her local pet store. So off I went to look.

She weighed all of four pounds and was in a cage with a Weiner dog. She trembled, was so shy, and just didn't interact with me much at all. She was the cutest thing I had ever seen. I knew I didn't want a dog that shy, so I left her there. The next week I went back. She was a little bit better but still very shy and thin (I think Mr Weiner was hogging all the food, typical) so I left again. The next week I went again and she greeted me with a big lick, I was hooked. She left with me.

Since then she has had to have knee surgery and extra teeth removed. She has severe food allergies, chronic gastritis, goopy eyes, ear infections, and the dryest skin I have ever seen.

That brings me back to our vet appoinment. He looked at her and we got talking about her dry skin. He suggested that I try fish oil. Now I had tried that for myself for health reasons (not being a big fish fan) and was horrified to find myself smelling like a mackrel. For that reason I no longer take fish oil. I asked him about that and he said that's why he recommends a particular type of capsule, no smell. Great so I spent 20.00 for the supplement trusting my fabulous vets opinion.

We all know dogs can smell pretty bad sometimes. Well this morning I realized my smelly dog had a new odor, fish! Not only did she smell like dog but dog who had been rolling around with a big old salmon. So I called the vet and told him that now not only is my dry skinned dog scaly she smells fishy too.

My doggie of the sea is getting a good bath....

Monday, September 05, 2005

PHOTOGRAPH

I just recently had a "Doggie Social" to try and build up my business and it went very well except for one thing... My roommates were there with a camera. They just emailed the results to me and I'm not happy. For one thing dog photography is an art, you have to work hard get them when they are still. So none of the pictures really came out. The other thing that doesn't make me happy is...there are pictures of me. Dear Lord I look like my mother.

I got old and matronly when I wasn't looking. I hate these pictures...HATE THEM. I have a man in my life who shall remain nameless (see hon told ya) and he tells me I'm cute and sexy all the time. Most of the time I believe him. He sees something that is still there. So okay maybe it was just a bad shot..wait there are like ten shots...and I hate them all. What's really funny is that she doesn't appear in my mirror, this woman, only in photographs. Hmmmmmm, where did she come from?

I recently quit smoking (in the last 7 months) and went on the pill. Neither one of those things are doing anything for my girlish (HA) figure, but I'll be damned if I give in to this mother thing.
I called a friend of mine last night who is always a source of good thoughts for me. He usually can always build me up. This time he said " you think that's bad, wait until you're forty" Noooooooo, I won't do it, I won't believe it, I won't accept it. I don't want to be my mother or look like her yet. She's not unattractive by any means I'm just not ready

What about Demi Moore and Michelle Pfeffier? They aren't you, oh..... better genes maybe? Better plastic surgeon? Whatever I WILL NOT give in to this. So starting as of two days ago I have decided to fight it, rail against it....do everything I can. My former "good thoughts" friend told me to give up (he's not really former I'm just ticked at him) but I'm just getting started. Read this and believe me I am just getting started and I am going to make that matronly woman in the picture go away...at least until I'm 70 or so.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

MY STUFF

I used to work in a Home Decor store. Stuff meant a lot to me. I would do all the buying for the store and it was like Christmas with someone else's money. I have Christmas ornaments that all told probably are worth thousands. I have a lot of stuff.

Now I'm trying to start my own business and it's hard. I sit in my room and contemplate my stuff. It means nothing to me now. All I see are all those dollars I could use now to put towards advertising or supplies or just basic living expenses now that my standard of living is taken a HUGE downward turn. Everyday I consider selling it all. I don't need any of it. That cute candle holder, it irritates me that it's there. The oh so adorable musical waterball with the kissing fish and the glitter that falls when I shake it? What the hell was I thinking? I want it all out gone and I want my money back!

This whole thing with hurricane Katrina has me thinking about it even more. Those people had stuff too and now it's gone. Not sold like I intend to do but gone. They are starting over with nothing. I would never want to be forced in a situation like that it's horrible, but the thought of a totally blank slate appeals to me. My stuff is closing in on me. I talk almost daily about making a change, moving somewhere new. Maybe it's about time I did it. Or just have that garage sale and get rid of some of this crap!!

Friday, September 02, 2005


DOGS ARE NOT PEOPLE TOO

Recently I have come across several instances where people think, no expect, dogs act like humans. I had a client once who told me that they were going to train their two Min Pins, but they decided not to because the trainer they spoke to told them that dogs don't think like humans. "Oh no" they said "our dogs are part of our family". Well this can be completely true but the bottom line is they are critters...critters with teeth. You do them and you a huge disservice either refusing to accept this or not believing it.

I know of a family in my neighborhood who have two large Labs. They are sweet dogs and very well trained. They were however, not raised with small children. On the fourth of July the neighborhood had a block party. Somehow a three year old decided that the dogs dinner looked good to him and went for it. The dog snapped and a scratch appeared on the surprised childs face. Pandemonium ensued, the police were called and the neighborhood was evenly split. Some for dog, some for child. Now while I would never say it's good that the dog got his teeth anywhere near a child's face, I also have to question the wisdom of a parent allowing a small child to get near an eating dog. My theory on children and dogs is unless you have a dog raised from a puppy with the child, is to treat them all as if they might bite. Before the child has reason and logic, keep that child away from any unknown dog. When the child can understand and reason teach them him never to approach an unknown dog. NEVER.

The other instance was from a message board. A family moved to a new neighborhood and their Wheaten Terrier somehow got loose. In the cul de sac they moved to there was a three year wandering alone. The dog barked at this seemingly unknown critter (my dog does the same sometimes to small people. She seems to not understand short people) a teenage boy went to intervene and was nipped. No blood was drawn but again, not good. Another uproar and threats from the father to go after the dog with a baseball bat.

What I know for sure is that dogs aren't like people. They don't have logic and reason. They have reaction and instinct. You can never assume because it knows this little person, that it will be okay with that little person. Dogs generalization skills suck. Both of these situations seem to me to be a immediate reaction from the dogs. It may have gone like this...

Lab...Yummm food...not sure if this will ever happen again...eat fast...hey small thing trying to get food...protect food.

Wheaten... Loose, yipee...ohhh, new strange place...scary...small unfamiliar human type thing screaming...bark to scare screaming thing....larger human thing lunging at me...cornered...bite to protect.

I would never defend a vicious dog. I may suggest a behaviorist if the owner was motivated enough but mean is mean. Neither one of these situations had mean awful untrained dogs. Circumstances came together with not tragic but not good results. What I would suggest is for parents of small children keep a eye on their kids. I don't have kids and I don't think I intend to have them. I do have an eighteen month old buddy who plays with my Schnoodle. My Schnoodle is well trained and sweet. I am still right there when they interact and I do mean right there with my hands on the dog. The child is bigger than the dog and could inadvertently hurt the dog. If that happened I am not 100% sure she wouldn't bite out of fear or pain. I will not take the chance, ever.

Repeat after me...
A dog is a critter
A critter with teeth

Remember they aren't human, they have no reason or logic. That isn't a bad thing (contary to what my Min Pin client thinks)they don't hold grudges, talk back, talk behind your back, tell you you're gaining weight...I could go on and on