Friday, September 25, 2009

Do not read if you are a sensitive soul

So I'm on a Weineramer roll. I aluded in an earlier post to the dogs eating a bluebird nest so here's the story...

I take these dogs to a forest service road on Mitchell hill in Preston. We get a few hundred feet in and they get to go off leash. Lately they have bee eating everything in sight. Blackberries, human poo, dirt, grass etc. But the worst were the blue jays.

So one day we were walking along and they started snorking around in the bushes. The male raised up his head and and had a baseball sized bundle of twigs in his mouth. "Drop it" I barked automatically. For all the problems these dogs have this seems to be a command they obey. So he dropped it.

I walked over to see what it was. It turned out to be a birds nest containing four freshly hatched chicks. Very nearly embryonic and partially chewed. Oh shit, now what do I do?

Obviously since they were on the ground at such a young age they weren't going to survive. Add to that the fact they were now chewed and these poor birds were for sure goners. I started to walk away. I came back a few seconds later. Then left and then came back. I probably spent a good ten minutes trying to decide what to do. Talking to myself and cursing on the trail. Do I walk away? Try to save them? Let the dogs finish the job? I have a huge problem with letting anything suffer. So what did I do?

I found a large rock and killed the birds. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. I hope I never have to do it again. Now I hated it while I did it but feel no guilt now that it's done. I'm curious what would my blogger friends have done? I really see no alternative to what I did. What do you think?

Thursday, September 17, 2009

If you read my last post you met these dogs. They were not in this condition 4 months ago. I wrote a post about how they were eating everything in sight. Well two weeks ago I realized why...they are starving.
It's funny when you see a dog practically everyday you don't immediately realize changes. Two weeks ago after watching them eat human feces, a blue jay nest (with the baby blue jays in it...another post), the trash in my car and many other things I realized they were painfully thin. 
Right about the time I started taking care of them their owners changed their food to a raw diet. I don't really approve of raw diets. I think a high quality kibble is fine. It can be hard to get the proper amount of nutrients when feeding raw. But I said nothing they aren't my dogs. Then I finally took a good look and noticed the bones sticking out. The owner was home and I spoke to her. She said "Yes, we noticed too. We are feeding them more"
A week passed....they got thinner.
I spoke to her again. "Yes, I TOLD you were are feeding them more" 
Two weeks passed...they got thinner. Now had she really fed them the right amount for their energy level and metabolism two weeks should have been eough time to see progress in their weight gain, dogs do not mess around. So today I decided to not let them off leash and leash walk them. They try to eat everything on the trail and it's dangerous. 
The male had a bowel movement that was black and the consistency of asphalt....possibly showing intestinal bleeding. I lost it. I called the owner and told her until the dogs had a clear vet check I would no longer walk them. Then I cried for these poor animals
I fed them every treat in my bag. How can people do this to their animals?

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Do not read if you have a weak stomach or are eating

The above video is of two new clients Graham and Daisy. Most of the time I feel superior to you working stiffs. "I am doing what I love" I think while wearing a smug smile. "Ha ha ha look at all those suckers going to an office everyday". I muse disdainfully to myself.

Then the universe gives my uppity ass a reality check. Today was one of those days. Today I detested dogs, wanted nothing to do with another four legged friend again.

Here's why...
These dogs are Weineramers. Most people know them from the William Wegman pictures.

He made them seem pliable, calm and almost human. They aren't by any stretch of the imagination. They are large game hunting dogs orginally from Germany. They are protective, territorial and can be aggressive if not socialized early. They are not "beginning"dogs. High energy and intelligent they can be a handful. They bark and run very fast.

They aren't my favorite breed, I'll admit. So twice a week I pick up these two dogs, put them in the car and take them to a very nearly vertical forest service road and let them run off their beans for an hour. It's exhausting. Every time I get to the house they attack. Jumping, barking and the female jumps on top of the male humping like a horny sailor.

Today was no different. I got there and was immediately attacked.Fending them off I leashed them off while pushing the female off the male about ten times. I threw them in the back of my car and took off. On the way to the trail we saw a doe and two small fawns. I paused to watch and was hit from behind by two snarling spitting barking beasts. The deer ran off. I pulled up to the trail and managed to get both beasts out of the car.

Once on the trail I have to let them drag me several hundred feet before taking off their leashes. Once I do they take off and I have a small amount of peace. Not today. I released the hounds of hell and they took off. I walked sighing to myself when all of a sudden I was NINJA HUMPED the female came crashing out of the forest hit me from behind and furiously went at my back. This is an 80 pound dog. I managed to get loose and kept going. She tried it FOUR MORE TIMES!! The last time I threw her five feet off the trail with a growl into some blackberry bushes.

We kept going. I realized there were workers on the trail. The dogs have "excellent recall" ah huh. I call they don't come.They attack the workers with tongues and paws.Fortunately they are good natured and we move on. We get to the bottom of the trail and there is a man with a Boxer who he says is afraid of other dogs. They won't come..I am mortified. I resort to turning tail and running into the forest to get them to chase me. They do and the female attempts another hump. At this point I growl (literally) an she stops.

We head back up the trail. When we get almost to point where I know the workers are I see the dogs off the trail eating something........ Oh god, is it something dead? I wish...

See apparently one of the workers had a call of nature. It happens, no judgement on my part. But now it's being enthusiastically consumed. Fighting my stomach I swat them away from it and get them going again. They run ahead to say hello to the workers. I round the bend to see one of the workers allowing the dogs to lick his face....

I drove them home with my head out the window.

Today I hated my job

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

So what do I do?
I'm having a bit of a conundrum about these shoes. Here is the story...
About a month ago I got a package delivered by UPS. It wasn't mine. See I had a PO Box when I lived in the crazy lady's house in Preston. So the person who now has the box ordered ink for his printer to the box but UPS doesn't deliver to PO boxes. So since I had a forward on the box they sent it to me.
At first I didn't notice it was UPS so I took it to the post office, they wouldn't take it even though I was in the post office where the box was located. So then I went to the place you can drop off UPS packages, they wouldn't take it. They said the driver wouldn't take it and I had to call for a pick up or just keep it.
So I went home and tried to google this guy and found his facebook page. I figured if he lives close I'd go give him his ink. I gave him a day or two to respond. He didn't. So I went to UPS with the plan of explaining the situation and if they refused I was going to throw the box at them and run away! I was spending way too much time trying to do a good thing. I explained, the clerk seemed to understand and I left the box.
Two weeks later it was back on my doorstep. So this time I opened it trying to find maybe a phone number, nothing. So I called Kodak and explained the situation. They put me on hold for so long I got irritated and hung up. I decided to give up and wait and see if UPS came looking for it.
That night the guy emailed me from my email to him on Facebook and asked if I still had the ink. I said yes and since I was passing by his work the next day I agreed to drop off the ink. The next day I did. He was very sweet and gave me a bag from his work (report shoes), an umbrella and some other stuff. When I looked in the bag there was a letter from him offering me a pair of shoes for being so nice. I looked at the website and boy I wanted these shoes, totally cute.
But I turned him down explaining that it wasn't necessary. He insisted as I frankly hoped he would. I picked out the above shoes and picked them up. Truthfully I felt a little uncomfortable taking them because I feel his gift to me was out of proportion with what I did for him but pleased with the shoes.
Here's the rub...they don't fit. Every shoe in my closet is an 8.5 but they don't fit. I was disappointed, I like the shoes. Mark says to call him but I feel weird about making him work more on something he didn't have to do.
What would you all do? I don't think I can call but before I tried them on I sent him an email thanking him again. If he responds and asks if I like them I may tell him then but I don't think I can call. Is that weird?

Friday, June 05, 2009

What I never say but would like to...

I generally don't work with serious aggressive dogs. I did once and this is what happened.

Now granted that was five years ago and now I feel better equipped to deal with what may happen but I mostly refer on to a person who has been training dogs for over 20 years... not five.

When I worked in the Home Decor store I could sell an ugly vase with a smile on my face and know the consequences weren't dire. Sure the neighbors might whisper behind the home owners back but it wasn't life or death.

Now it is.

Recently I had two cases of aggression come to me. The first was a Border Collie mix who would basically try to kill any other dog she met while leashed. The owner called and said they just eeded a little "brush up" on their manners. Slowly I pulled out of her that the dog had bitten a dogwalker, menaced her three children (backing one into a corner) and the whole murderous rampage while walking thing. She seemed dedicated to this little dog named "Tulip" and scheduled an appointment quickly with my referral person.

The second was a mini schnauzer named "Annie" who came to me through a shelter referral. Annie was exhibiting strange repetitive behavior, circling exclusively to one side, and had recently rushed out to rip at the pants of a neighbor. She as of that point hadn't bitten anyone...yet. I referred her on too. She too quickly made an appointment.

Now I come to find out both owners scheduled one appointment and then never followed through. Never made another appointment, never worked with their dogs and ow want to "rehome" these aggressive pooches. Here's the letter the other trainer got from one

We have tried to use the clicker more, but since we are not home that much it has been hard to train her. She is better around strangers while we walk the dog but still ballastic with people coming to our house unless they have the time to get to know her.-and most of the time they don't-Kid's friends (in and out of the house ) and solicitors, repair people. We put her in the crate. I'm afraid she might run out the door with the kids not being that careful. She was doing so good at the park that we let her off leash and she plays with the other dogs. Unfortunely a couple weeks ago she bit a runner that just entered the park. His pants did not tear, but had a small flesh wound. After the bite he still kept on running in the park. He filed a police report. We are planning to bring her back to the shelter. I emailed SPRD to see if she is adoptable through their organization. Do you know of anyone who is capable of controlling her with strangers and wants a sweet mini schnauzer who is now potty trained? she does not bark at home at all and just loves to cuddle. Thanks for all your help.

Here's the other

> After much agonizing deliberations, we have realized> that we need to find a new home for Tulip :(> As you know she is a very sweet dog. But> unfortunately, due to her size and aggressiveness with other> dogs, she is to much for us to handle (w/ 3 kids). > She's not getting the attention and walks she needs> because we can't take her everywhere with us like we> used to do with our old dog. We used to take our old dog> to soccer games, parks, etc.. with us but we can't with> Tulip. She was suppose to be my son's dog (as he> picked her out at the shelter) but because of her size and> aggressiveness (& pulling) we can't let him take her> for walks. So after a few tears, we've decided we need> to find a new loving home for her. She deserves the best> and we were hoping maybe you could help. If you know any> one who would be interested (or any organization I should> call) please let me know. I think she can be better if> someone has time to train her and work with her more,> but she might always be a bit aggressive with some> dogs.>> She is such a sweet girl and still sleeps with my son> at nights, so this will be hard but we know its the right> thing to do. So if you know any interested parties let me> know.

Basically these two families took on the responsibility of owning this pet and when it got too hard they want to give that responsibility to someone else.

This the response I want to give...

Dear asshole owners,

I'm so sorry that little Fido turned out to be more than you can handle. I'm so sorry that when cute ball of fluff grew up and was ignored for long periods of time he turned aggressive. Who knew that was going to happen? That's right we all did. And when you saw a problem coming, as you did many months ago when you called me, you chose to ignore it.

You were given tools to work on the problem why did you choose to let it slide? Did you not understand that when you adopt something you are committing for life? Do you understand that this problem is your fault? You caused this...YOU! So now you want to pass off your mistake onto someone else? Will you tell them the truth or will you lie about sweet little Fido to get him out of your house?

Do you know that Fido eventually will more than likely end up in a shelter? That is after three or four other new homes, escalating problems and more than likely a bite incident. Oh and just to be clear that bite victim is likely to be a child. I know you are trying to protect your child but by doing that you are endangering someone elses.

So, no I will not help you to re home Fido. But I will tell you what to do. Take responsibility euthanize your dog yourself. March over to the vet explain that you were an asshole (he'll believe you, like me he has seen a lot) and kill (no more euphemisms) your dog yourself. Let him have the luxury of not spending his last days shivering in a concrete kennel in fear. Let him be warm and in your loving arms one more time. Let his last moments be with the person he loves the most, horrible asshole. Then as you wipe the tears from your eyes promise me you will NEVER own a dog again because you don't deserve one.


Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Our Second Room

The next night we were moved to a corner rom with breathtaking views of the lake, even from the toilet!

Monday, June 01, 2009

Crater Lake

Frankly I didn't think this vacation was going to happen...then when it started I wasn't sure it should continue...

In the weeks leading up to this vacation the cat got sick, Lola pulled a muscle, my 100 year old grandmother died and Mark had to have nose surgery. I was running ragged all over town to vet and doctors appointments. Plus Mark had a big project to be finished the day before we left. So we had a huge fight the night before we left. I think we were both just stressed and not sure the other was appreciating each others plight.

We managed to smooth that blow up over and got ready to leave friday. The pet sitter came at 930 in the morning and it took me almost two hours to explain the weird quirks of the house and the 7 different medications the cat needed to survive the weekend.

So we left, then the check engine light came on in my car and then the air con was ninety degrees for eight hours. Well about 120 in the car. It would work for ten minutes and then have to go off for ten minutes. The GPS tried to send us off on dirt roads and my clutch kept slipping. Eight sweaty hours later we arrived at the hotel.

Breathtaking huh?!

Well we got there at 9:00 at night (just in time to miss the last seating at dinner) and they had given our room to someone else. Well this is where our luck changed for the better. They said the magic words....Upgrade.

Our original room was a deluxe lakeview. This was a loft, one of only four in the hotel.

Two floors, two beds two breathtaking views. Marks only complaint? There was no bathroom on the second floor...shockingly primitive.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Mark and Mary Kay
Well Travis posted about the "Hot for Teacher" night at a pioneer square bar last week. So Travis I blame you!
Mark decided that he wanted to go see the spectacle. I thought he was kidding but Saturday night rolled around and he told me to get ready. Honestly I didn't want to go but this is what he said

So knowing someday I would ask him to do something he didn'twant to I went. We arrived and the nedia was everywhere. I'm pretty sure they outnumbered the club goers whih makes me believe they were part of the reason for the spectacle.

We met the mayor and the deputy of the bar (drunk as skunks)

...and finally caught a glimpse of the man of the hour Vili Fuluaa

I immediately felt bad for him and slightly ashamed that I was part of the spectacle but at the same time he is 26 years old and if he wanted a quiet life, well he could have it. But you have to wonder if he feels badly that people are there merely to gawk at him. Mark says I repeated that over and over and I guess I did but I felt uncomfortable. Oh and notice the song lyrics playing right before she got there.

She arrived

She was wearing a tight black mini dress and seemed to bloom in the attention. People took pictures with her, touched her and wanted just to be near her. Frankly it was a bit horrifying but she looked ecstatic...fortified.

Then it happened, she approached Mark and complimented him on his shirt

I don't know if you can hear it in my voice but I was really quite grossed out by the whole thing.

Here is my five minute amateur analysis. More than her being a pedophile I think she probably is just a total narcissist who needs, wants, craves attention and this person gave her what she wanted and is still giving it to her, evidenced by this freak show. But he had better keep giving it to her if he wants to keep her. Unfortunately she won't lack it for long.

Oh and in a great show of "Instant Karma" our car battery was dead when we got back to the car. Gotta Love the universe:)

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Lola vs. A Towel

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned from my Dog

Yesterday I was fishing around a very large Amoire in the kitchen and I found the above Gingerbread man toy that we had lost track of at Christmastime . Lola was thrilled to see a"new"toy and proceeded to rip it to shreds. It reminded me of Christmas 2006 or rather February of 2007.

My dad had given Lola a grunting rubber chicken with a pompadour hairdo, a cigarette and wearing a wife beater t-shirt. We all laughed hysterically at it. It was truly hideous. The same thing happened to the rubber chicken it ended up somehow under a couch.

In January my dad died and the rubber chicken was forgotten. In February for some reason or another it reappeared and I took it from my dog fearing she would rip apart the last thing my dad gave her. I put it on the counter while he plaintively woofed at it. She really wanted to kill it. I kept it from her for quite awhile until I realized that was just stupid. It was ugly and the reaon my dad bought it was because he wanted her to have the joy of ripping it apart. The moment we laughed I had in my head I didn't need the chicken. So I let her have it and it was pink shreds in minutes.
So what have I learned from Lola?
-It's the people who matter not the stuff they give you.
-It's how people really are, not how they look that matters. Weight, height ,clothes, hair all that stuff doesn't matter in the least. She doesn't notice.
-Sometimes it's ok to be stinky
-Wait for people to show you how they really are before you form an opinion.
- Forgive freely and immediately
-Nap frequently but play hard before you do.
-The wind in your face feels really good
- It's ok to act goofy
- It's ok to growl when you don't want to be humped
However, she is wrong about a few things
-Rolling in dead things
-Chewing on a Bull's Penis
-Unabashed begging
-I will never sniff a butt to say hello
-Eating your own vomit

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

I saw this posted tonight and found it funny. It's an argument between two churches on if dogs go to heaven. If with the catholics which is funny because I'm usually never on the side of catholics. That whole misogynist, ignore the pedophiles and refuse to talk about birth control rubs e the wrong way but this is funny. Click to enlarge

Sunday, May 03, 2009

I've been busy lately and been a bad blogger. I will try harder please don't stop visiting

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

More Puppy Pics
Please contact me through the comments if you know anyone who may be interested

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


I need to help a new client find homes for six puppies. If my blogging pals would be so kind to ask around or even repost this clip with my contact info (I will provide that via private email) I would really appreciate it. They need new homes! Her neighbors are about to kill her:)

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


I finally got a good shot of the third kitty:)

Monday, April 13, 2009

Okay Travis here is my dream car.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

My mother has always called me an iconoclast.
From Wikipedia...
People who engage in or support iconoclasm are called iconoclasts, a term that has come to be applied figuratively to any person who breaks or disdains established dogmata or conventions. Iconoclasm, Greek for "image-breaking," is the deliberate destruction (or defamation) of important symbolic images (or icons) recognized within a culture, religion, or society. An act of iconoclasm usually implies that the activity was public, rebellious, and originating from within the respective group.
The first time she called me an iconoclast was when I got Christmas cards with Elvis in a Santa hat. I don't even remember what the card said. I remember being rather proud of the label. Afterall at the time I was a teenager trying to be rebellious and it felt cool. Over time I have come to realize the label is true.
Not in a FU sort of way but more conventions never felt necessary or right to me. I felt it keenly recently at the wedding of a friend. While I am completely on board with getting or being married, all the trappings of the wedding seem silly to me. Now let me say that this is not to say I felt any disdain for her wedding, it was lovely. I just can't see myself doing those things. I am easily bored with convention and tradition
She held to all the old traditions. The white dress, the first dance, the cake (although she broke slightly with cheesecake, kudos:) and all those things you expect to see at a wedding. She and her now husband do all sorts of Norma Rockwell type lessons, singing around the piano, big family dinners. My sister too we have to have Turkey on Thanksgiving, Ham on Easter chocolate on Valentine's day. Her Christmas tree is the same as the tree we had when I was growing up.
Sometimes I feel strange surrounded by these people. I could see myself never being married or being in an unconventional relationship (I'll keep those details to myself). I don't really like things and acquiring wealth has never been an interest of mine. I don't believe in God. My mother asks if things are appropriate to wear to church and I am dumbfounded...why does she care?
I guess what it boils down to is that there have to be people like this bride to keep old traditions and there have to be people like me or nothing would change.

Thursday, April 02, 2009


Mark is close to being done with the new upstairs bathroom. We can now take civilized showers. I am completely impressed with all that he has done so I had to post a video and show off his work. I hae to say I have never had a shower this luxurious before and I don't now how I will eer go back

Monday, March 23, 2009

I've got a blogging block. Any suggestions?

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Lost and Found
There has been an unexpected side effect to living in a house that is being remodeled, I lose things. Nothing really has a permanent place in our home so my belongings are in a constant state of flux. Most of them are still in boxes and plastic crates.
I met Mark in November of 2006 and by the following July he started remodeling the house. I moved all my stuff in last August from a storage unit. The problem is that the rooms are inconstant. What was the bedroom one month is the office the next. He finishes a room and everything that was in that room leaves and goes to a different room. Things that don't belong somewhere are there. For instance for a long time we had the dining room table in the bedroom.
The consequence of this is that no thing has a "place" so if you set something down you run the risk of it disappearing. In order to clean house for a guest or party you cannot put things away in their proper places because there are no proper places. Stuff gets stuffed into the nearest drawer or box never to be seen again. Or a room that was one thing quickly becomes another thing and you lose track of your stuff.
I have lost track of several bras. Strange...why bras? I know they are here because I generally don't take them off outside the home. It's not like I'm at an appointment and just get...comfortable. People tend to frown on that kind of behavior. I've lost probably three or four ear buds for my phone and a couple for my I-pod. Plus twice now the chargers. I have coats I haven't seen for months and shoes that seemingly walked away unassisted. My flatware is missing three spoons, a knife and four forks. Pillowcases, my health insurance information, DVD's and makeup, it's getting more and more frustrating.
We now have two mostly finished rooms, the master bedroom and dining room. I find myself jealously guarding the neatness and state of these rooms. I'm very careful to put everything in the "right" place in these rooms. I do wonder if someday all my lost belongings will finally reappear and I will have five ear buds for my phone and my bras back.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Sunday, March 08, 2009


So today to placate me Mark took Lola and I to Rattlesnake Lake for a romp in the snow. Then we had to take EVERYTHING out of the dining room AGAIN to varnish the woodwork...sigh. I will admit the varnished wood does look good:)

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Snow, Public Restrooms and My Computer keyboard
Do you ever have one of those days when everything annoys you? When you just want to throw yourself on the floor and have a full on two year old temper tantrum? I'm having one today so I'm gonna bitch about it.
Firstly...Snow? What the f*&k? I realize that weather people are not God but was this predicted? At all? Because it really messed up my day. I can't begin to describe how much I HATE snow. I hate it with an all consuming passion. I know it isn't particularly rational to be this rageful about the weather but I am. When I see it coming down my entire mood changes. If someone decides to be cute and funny and sing "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow" I could very happily hit them and walk away with a smile. I think it's because I'm very very very inept driving in it. People say "Oh it's not me it's the other people I worry about" Well meet one of the "other" people. I even bought a Subaru to try and cope with my snow driving phobia but I drove out today and came home again. I just can't do it. "just drive slowly" oh shut up. Mark thinks I'm being irrational and maybe I am but I just can't do it (nothing but agreement in the comments section please I may explode or never speak to you again if you disagree)
Okay so next...Public restrooms. I train and walk dogs for a living and frequently have to pee on the road. Since I'm not a boy and can't literally pee on the road I have to utilize public restrooms. Again what the F*$K? What is it about leaving home that turns some into nasty pigs? What is so difficult about flushing? I realize the handle may be nasty but please be a part of the solution people. You can wash your hands when done. I can't tell you how many times I've gone into a restroom with say four stalls and all had unflushed toilets. Gross! Next girls what is wrong with your aim? Do you pee all over the seat at home? I won't even mention what else I've come across on the seat but needless to say it's nasty.
Okay last (and this one is totally my fault but I'm cranky) my computer keyboard... I frequently search out and cook new recipes I find on my laptop. So my computer comes in the kitchen and sits next to me on the counter while I cook. Invariably I get crumbs in the keyboard. Today I must have gotten a lot of crumbs in there so every keystroke is either accompanied by a little crunching noise or doesn't work at all. It's buggin me. (See! I left that typo in deliberately)
Okay it wine o'clock yet?

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

This post is a good example of why you shouldn't blog when extremely tired:) I read this again this am and coldbarely make sense of it

So Mark believes he is the Wizard of Oz now. He is installing a home automation system. It's really very cool. There will be touch pads in every room of the house controlling lights, heat and music. Different rooms will have different lighting, temperature and music. The system will know when someone walks in a room and turn everything on. Bright for day, dim for night. We will be able access the weather and traffic at a touch before leaving for work.

So cool but he's driving me nuts. He's upstairs right now programming the lights. He's turning the Tv and lights on and off at will. Dimming and brightening at will. One off another on. Tv on and off, loud and soft. He is driving me nuts but I just emailed him in the bedroom and asked him to turn on the lights down here. That's pretty cool:)

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Mr. Mouseman

Well I almost didn't post this because of the tampons visible in the center cubby in my car but what the hell. Surprise I'm a girl!

Our mouse problem has returned. I spent a good hour the other day cleaning the rements of a mouse party (involves lots of poo) from under the kitchen sink. Yes I was careful of Hantavirus. I sprayed the whole business down with beach water first. We don't kill creatures we aren't going to eat so our problem is more difficult what with the remodel and all.

Sigh... this is going to be my life for the next couple of months.

Friday, February 27, 2009

I Like Your Booty (But I'm Not Gay)

Mark's newfavorite song from Aqua Teen Hungerforce. Love the Squirrel!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Arnie & Gizmo

These two dogs were going to be featured on new page I'm designing on my website for the dog walking portion of my business. The owner wrote a cute little blurb about how much they like me and how they enjoy their walks. My job was to get a good picture of these little buggers.

The story with these boys is that they are rescues. The bigger cream colored one was the dog of an AIDS patient.When he could no longer care for the dog....Gizmo is his name and he's 17, the girl part of this couple brought him home. He had to have most of is teeth removed, endured a nasal fistula, eye infections, a prolapsed trachea ....I could keep going but it was bad. They called me to walk him three days a week because he's also incontinent. Which I do at a much lower rate than my other dogs because they were so nice to take this sickly old dog home.

So several months later Arnie joined the party from a Chihuahua rescue. Losing his sight, with a broken jaw from removing all his teeth (BRUSH YOUR DOGS TEETH!!) and incontinent too. Where Gizmo is so sweet, Arnie is nasty. Gizmo daintily takes treats from my hands, Arnie snatches them angrily. He had his jaw wired shut for a long while so I didn't know his most obnoxious trait.....biting

It's not scary or painful...usually. He does have about three teeth lurking in there and if he angles his head just right he can pierce the skin but just barely. His jaw strength is not what it used to be so it turns into a big pinch. Not pleasant but doable.

My routine is to go get them out of the pen they spend their days in and walk them for as long as they can stand it. Gizmo is always happy to see me, Arnie isn't. So after being bitten a couple of times I asked the owner to leave a towel hanging over the pen. Now I throw the towel over him and lift him out. Lately I've discovered I can stuff a treat in his mouth and while he's chewing get him out.
But today I realized dogs are capable of spitting out treats. The little bugger got me again. Still I will continue to go walk them and bear the toothless bites. I figure if you get to that age and you are a troll like this Chihuahua you have a right to a slight attitude.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Kristin's Fault!

Sorry Kristin but you got me thinking about if I've come into contact with anyone truly evil in my lifetime. I came up with only one person.
When I was 24 I had a boyfriend who was 22. I met him on Halloween at Spinakers on Shilshole Bay. I was a Grecian Goddess he was a Cowboy. He was big, cute and played shortstop for the Husky Baseball team. It turned out he lived on a few short miles from an apartment I shared with a roommate by Juanita bay. I was smitten. It really didn't last all that long, barely a blip in my life except for one lastly thing he left me...a cataract on my left eye.
When I look out straight ahead it's kind of like looking through a frosted shower door. I didn't even know this had been the lasting effect of this person until a couple years later when my eye doctor asked me if I had ever been hit in the eye. I said "of course not" but then it hit me (scuse the pun) I had.
It snowed a lot the winter of 1992, late too at the end of March. This person came trudging through the snow to see me. I was thrilled. We had a nice evening and then he proposed something I wasn't so thrilled to comply with....I refused, he tried to insist, I refused and ordered him out of my house. So he hit me hard in the face. I had never been hit before and have never been hit since. It was painful and shocking. I marched to the front door, threw it open and screamed for my next door neighbor who gallantly ran out in his underwear. The man left, trudging back through the snow. He called several times but I never spoke to him again.
I was mad but brushed it off like you do when you are very young. Now I would report it then I did nothing.
About two years later I was watching the TV on my couch and a teaser for the evening news popped up with his picture. I stayed up late to watch to see what he had done. It turns out he murdered someone who had been molesting him since he was fourteen. (If you know who this is please don't name him in the comments section) The trial started which I followed closely. It turned out this man had a position of trust in this boy's life and abused it terribly. Despite my anger at what he had done to me I felt great compassion for the poor child he once was. I called his parents and offered my condolences. I think he did go to jail but it was found that this man had documented what he had done to this poor long ago child and he was granted some leniency. I heard he got help with his anger issues.
So even though he hurt me I wished that I had said something when it all happened. Maybe it's very self-centered to believe I may have changed what ended up happening. I think this person needed help and I'm sorry now I didn't do something.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


I've talked a lot about the remodel of this house but not about the way the house once was. Apparently it started off its life as a fishing cabin. The first picture above shows what that part of the house looked like. One room cabin with a wood stove, a bathroom, and a loft for sleeping. We are right above the river so it was once an isolated spot for river fishing.

Then according to the neighbors a woman with ten children lived here...holy moly. I don't know how. The house was built in the 40's and was about 800 square feet. They must have been packed in here like sardines. In the 70's someone added another 700 square feet. Whoever did it did so in a very haphazard way. They basically slapped another house up next to it with another loft and staircase. The left exterior windows up either looking at a wall or looking out into the space below. You couldn't get from one loft to the other without going down one staircase and up another. You can see it in the first picture of the house before.

So Mark started the remodel and put a new floor in below the windows, broke through the two sides and took out the spiral staircase. He had never washed those windows between the two sides...too high. What we found when we got up to their level 30 years after the remodel was someones face pressed into the glass. You can see it in the third picture.

I haven't washed it off. I wonder who it was? Are they still alive? Who were they pressing their face up to? Did that person laugh? Sometime that wall of windows will become merely a wall and the long ago face will be gone. Until then I'm going to leave it up and wonder about this person who made the funny face

Monday, February 23, 2009

The Ting Tings -

One of my new favorites. I think it reminds me of the songs I liked in High School..

They call me Bee

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Moving Day
The floor is done!

The fireplace works!

We need a chair rail still but the walls are painted, wainscoting sealed and stained.

We moved some furniture in and will sleep her tonight! I can't wait to have everyone over!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

CPAP Machine
This is how I know I'm nuts about Mark. I put up with this machine. I'm not saying he doesn't put up with whole world of stuff with me too...but this thing is a pain.

Let me clear...he has to put up with much more wearing this thing to bed. I would never sleep if it were me. Still it's a pain. He has sleep apnea and has to wear this mask thingie to sleep every night. If he doesn't, he could die. I think it's called obstructive sleep apnea. When he's sleeping his soft palate relaxes, slides backwards and blocks his airway. I've heard him stop breathing and it scares me. So I participate in this night time ritual.

After two years I have a routine to getting this damn thing on him. I have to wait for him to snore and then gently say "it's time to put your mask on". At this point he turns into a ten year old boy and fights me. It's not really his fault because he's pretty much asleep at this point. I have to wait for that moment when he can still move and put the damned thing on but is sleepy enough to not be annoyed by it. So he refuses, usually he says something like "you put it on" and I wait for him to snore again.

I tell him again to put on the mask. Usually at this point he complies and puts it on but some nights I have to wait for the third snore...sigh. I can't ever fall asleep first. It happens once in awhile but then he feels like poo the next day and I just can't tolerate that either. I wonder how any times he stopped breathing? So the very next night I fight with his inner ten year old boy.

Because I love him

But God I hate that mask

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Just an informational post:) For those who have been down to our riverfront look what the storm did! I found someone's eyeglasses down there. Just a wreck! And look at our beautiful house. As you look at the picture all the house from the satellite dishes to the right is new! The floors are almost done and we hope to be moved into the bedroom by the time we have our next dinner party on the 28th!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

I haven't really talked about this cat in my blog. He hasn't been sick, he isn't very social and he isn't weird like the others.
However he's being very funny lately. He is a Lavender point Himalayan. A beautiful cat. He is Mark's cat through and through. Lola and I have been here about two and a half years and it's been difficult with Aknot. Oh by the way Aknot is a character from "the Fifth Element" if you're wondering. He would prefer if we left. He tolerates me and abhores the dog.
At first he would NOT come downstairs. Lola has bad knees and won't climb wooden steps. He figured that out quickly and stayed up there. Then the other two cats came to stay and made friends with Lola. It was then he decided he would come down and check things out. We think one night we were out and he and Lola had a "chat". She used to chase him and no longer does. That"chat" may have involved claws. Since they have settled into an uneasy truce. He does, however, assert his dominance every once in awhile by whacking her out of the blue. You'll hear a "yip" from the other room and Aknot will stalk slowly into view followed by a cowering Lola. Whatever works.
But now he's decided I need to be put in my place. See lately Mark and I have been having some spirited debates... Socialism, Abortion, Obama etc. On a lot of issues we are on opposite sides. We tend to "discuss" loudly. The day we were having our Abortion debate Aknot jumped up on the armrest of the couch and was meowing rather loudly. I turned to see what he wanted and to pet him. He bit me. No punctures, no pressure just teeth on skin. Mark laughed and picked him up to cuddle him.
"Wait, you are reinforcing bad behavior" I said. To which he said"I know" and smiled. Later that night, in bed, he did it again. The cat, not Mark. Mark thinks he's protecting him and that it's hysterically funny. Hmmmm, I'm not so sure. How would he feel if it were a dog biting him? He says he feel the same if it were delivered with the same intensity, amused.
So now if anyone's voice gets raised that damn cat jumps on my armrest and starts up with his"warning" meowing. I leap off the couch and Mark laughs. Yeah very funny

My funny, irritating, sexy, annoying, smart, frustrating Valentine
I woke up this morning to dishes crashing around in the kitchen. Hmmm strange Mark doesn't touch dishes. See we have a pretty traditional household when it comes to the division of labor. He does all outside, house repairs, yard work, money making. My part is everything else. I do the dishes, make dinner, shop, clean, do laundry. I'm working part time at best at the moment. So this works for us.
So when it was obvious the dishes were being washed. I had to get up and see what that was all about. I spoiled a surprise. He decided to bring me breakfast in bed this Valentine morning and didn't want me to see the dishes when I did get up. Breakfast was fruit, coffee and an english muffin fashioned into a big smiley face.
Note to self...the very next time he bugs the crap out of you? Remember that smiley face;)

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Lola the comfort dog. She has become part cat:)

Sunday, February 08, 2009

What I Think
Mark and I had our semi monthly "discussion"on abortion last night. He is Pro Life, I am pro choice. We cannot agree on this subject. I'm not even sure why we continue to debate it. In fact last night it got so heated that his cat got alarmed and bit me, twice. Pretty funny. I really don't get to say everything I want to say clearly when we "discuss" it so I thought I'd do that here where he can't interrupt or disagree.
Okay so our first argument is one of the decision making process. He doesn't like that the decision is solely in the hands of the woman. If she decides to have an abortion he has no say and if she decides to have it he has to pay. I will admit my whole take on this part of the argument is a little unfair but here goes...
Too flippin' bad. If you don't want to make a woman pregnant then take responsibility for your own sperm. Otherwise sleep with her knowing that could be the consequence. Wear a condom, get a vasectomy, watch her take her birth control pill everyday, buy her a IUD. Or if you really can't trust her, don't have sex with her. For far too long the responsibility for not getting pregnant has been left in the woman's hands. Men can have sex and run away, women can't. Women have that consequence for nine months. BOTH need to try and prevent pregnancy.
Men need to stop blaming the woman, denying their parentage and trying to duck the responsibility. They pretty much get away scott free. There is no social stigma for being an unwed father. There is no damage to their body. There is no child in their womb. I know some who have had a child with an absent father and it's very hard to force a man to be a parent. You can't easily force him to take the child so you can work. Or pay you to buy diapers. Or merely have a father for your child. To me the consequences aren't equal to man and woman so neither should the decision to keep or abort.
The other issue we have is whether or not it is murder. Let me just say that I am not a fan of abortion beyond the first trimester or used as a form of birth control. However, I will defend it in all its many forms just as I would defend the KKK's right to free speech. I don't want the right whittled away. I look forward to a day when all have access to birth control and education on sex. When there is no incest or rape or abuse. When abortion becomes unnecessary. I was told what sex was very early in life. I didn't have it until I was twenty and not once without birth control. It really pisses me off that the first thing our last president did when he was elected into office was take away funding to groups overseas who counseled women on abortion. He knew full well that wasn't the only thing they were taught. Clinics lost funding if they dared even mentioned it.
No one wants an abortion and I doubt if it's the first thing out of any clinic workers mouth. The abstinence only teachers need to grow up and take their heads out of the sand. My mother told me that's what she would like from me but then told me how everything worked too. Ignorance harms people.
Is it murder? Does life begin at conception? I don't know. I will be completely honest here and take the possible slings and arrows....
My concern is for the woman who is here above the fetus who isn't. I have a friend who became pregnant at 12 and aborted. She is happy with a child now. She gets a little sad if she thinks of that time in her life. It wasn't a good thing. But would it have been better for her to have it and very likely not have gone to college, be financially unstable? Possibly have harmed herself because her child's body wasn't meant to have a child. That child more than likely would have grown up in terrible circumstances. Do we need more of those? The earth groans with the population we have now.
Anyone who is pro-life should be pro-life for those who are here. Help them get away from abusers, get access to birth control and sex education. Be proactive, help those who already exist and need help.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Written for Facebook...

25 Random Things about Me

1. I have a split uvula. Don't be dirty.. it's the thing that hangs down in the back of your mouth. Mine is forked like a snake.
2. I am ambi-dextrous. I use both hands except for writing.
3. My grandmother just turned 100
4. I hate hot weather and snow.
5. I didn't go to a doctor until I was 17
6. I never got any childhood diseases...measles, mumps, chicken pox.
7. I hate flying
8. I am a dog trainer
9. My eyes change from blue to green depending on what I wear.
10. My IQ is high but I don't "apply" myself
11. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
12. I have a small bee tatoo on my ankle
13. Melissa means honeybee
14. I am a chronic insomniac
15. I like to cook
16. I used to be afraid of driving on the freeway
17. I don't like most rich people (I work for them)
18. I met Fabio once
19. I am a caffeine addict
20. I have no children and have never wanted them.
21. If I talk to you I probably will interrupt you. It's my worst fault.
22. I throw everything away. I don't like having a lot of possessions
23. I have had blonde, red, brown, black and purrple hair.
24. I live in North Bend with my boyfriend
25. My goal in life is to help in some way everyone I meet.

The Floor from Hell

Well most of you know Mark has taken on the enormous task of remodeling this house. It's going from 1,600 square feet to 4500 square feet. The floor has been my chore.

See the deal is that the floor is the ceiling for the dining room and the floor for the bedroom. I don't know a lot about construction but I will try to get my story straight. When he constructed this part of the house the thought was the bedroom floor would have a different floor besides these wide pine planks you see in the photos. But he decided he liked the looked of the wide planks so much he would keep it as the floor of the bedroom. The problem was (is) that he didn't use tongue and grove to put the ceiling/floor together so there were cracks bewtween the boards. Things could potentially fall in these cracks, breezes could come up, light, noises etc. So the cracks had to be sealed.
He researched and went round and round to find a way to seal the cracks. It had to be in such a way that whatever he used to seal the cracks would not fall into the room below. So he found an old way of doing it...with twine.
So he told me that you just get sisal twine and push it between the boards. Sounds easy enough,, right? Wrong. None of the cracks are uniform so you have to use three strand twine and use maybe one strand, maybe two, or maybe three. If that weren't bad enough you can't just push it in you have to use a chisel and a hammer to pound it in. It has to be an extremely tight fit.
So I spend about two weeks doing that..everyday. Bang bang bang all day and not in a good way.
Then we you are done with that you have to fill in all the nail holes, cracks and knots with wood putty. Another week or so of work. Then he had to sand. Lastly this morning he put glue in all the cracks on top of the twine and I swept wood dust in on top of it. I blew my nose probably ten times and I still have wood boogers.
Now he has to sand it all again and stain it but my job here is done for the time being...thank God!!