Mt. Si at dusk. I can't quite capture the light on the Mountain with my crappy camera. I've been crabby today not wanting to do all my weekend chores. This view makes it all worthwhile
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
This is what we usually see most winter mornings, Elk. They are HUGE! At first it was a little scary walking towards them....will they charge? Be angry? Lola was freaked! But we learned that if we keep walking they will politely step off the road into the bushes. You pass them by and can smell them and hear them waiting for you. If you look back you can see they will step back into the road after you pass. That never happened in Bellevue.
It's difficult to cook out here. I'm not all that adventurous but once in awhile I like to try something new. I made Beef Wellington for Mark but could I find Pate in North Bend? Nope. Veal for Jagerschnitzel? Nope. Agave nectar? Nah. Light and dark sesame oil? Uh uh. I could go on but you get the picture.
Which brings me to the other oddity. Everyone writes checks! Invariably I get behind someone in the grocery line who pulls out a checkbook and writes a check...huh? Hasn't the 21st century made it out here to the boonies?
So Lola and I aren't in Bellevue anymore but for as much as I never thought I'd leave I like it here.
Friday, November 21, 2008
So I was taking the back roads out to Tiger Mountain in Issaquah. I had just turned left on to Eastlake Sammamish Road. You know right by the Fred Meyer? WHAMMO! I thought I was going to die. The back of head, hands and face went numb. My vision tunneled down to a pinpoint. I couldn't breathe and my heart beat very very fast. Now I know I probably was so fearful of driving that I hyperventilated, at the time I had no idea. I just thought I was going to die.
I don't like to draw attention to myself. So there were no histrionics. I just kept repeating "you're okay you're okay you're okay" until I got to my appointmentand then I was okay...or so I thought. What happened was that I became afraid of the next attack. I've read since that some can have one attack and not have another but some worry excessively about it happening again. THAT doesn't help because of course you worry yourself into another one. Over and over and over again.
You wonder where it will be? Who will be around? If you like to be strictly in control (like me) will I be able to control myself? So you start avoiding places where you don't feel you can escape quickly. My big thing was driving. I couldn't do it. There had to be a shoulder, or an exit or a way out. See panic attacks are like your "fight or flight" is broken. You feel a need to flee...all the time. So your world shrinks. I think I was somewhat agoraphobic for a time. My only saving grace was that I was poor. I had to go to work.
After a three day long panic...horrible, I finally went to the doctor about 4 months after that first panic. They gave me Xanax. Ahhh sweet relief. I understand downer addicts completely. Eventually I ended up on Paxil but it killed my sex life, the mind was willing but the flesh unresponsive. Made me gain 7o pounds in about six months. I slept almost constantly, ground my teeth...well it was awful.
We switched to Wellbutrin and I was horribly sad. I cried over Kodak commercials. Celexa worked the best but I still felt like a slug. Eventually it was decided I couldn't take an everyday antidepressant and my doctor put me on Clonazepam to take only when the anxiety was particularly high. It worked for me and eventually I didn't need it at all.
I credit Lola for forcing me to interact and get out everyday as well as inspiring a career change as the final catalyst to change. I think I was ultimately very self centered. I mean that in the way that I was thinking and worrying too much about me. When I got her I started to think less about me and more about other things.
I am so glad that chapter in my life is over
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
So i've been following closely comments on craigslist about prop 8. These are a sampling of comments. Up until now I have been arguing with EVERY SINGLE foul opinion :) because I'm geared that way. But what is they say? If you win an argument on the internet you're still a loser? So I've stopped but just look at some of this crap!!! Grrrrrrrrrr. Oh and I love when one of the anti gays sounds like an illiterate idiot....does my little heart good and doesn't move their case for proreation forward much
I could not be happier that gays are not allowed to marry in California. In fact I think the ones that got married should be striped of the marriage that was performed. How can gays have children. It was not set up that way. Thats why only men and women can have children. It will never pass in Washington. Washington State is to conceded to allow that kind of sickness. I hear people (gays) saying thats the way they were born. Bulls**t. Its a choice and a bad one at that........
Makes no sense. You DON'T deserve rights because you are homosexual. Plain and simple. You DO deserve the SAME INALIENABLE rights as spelled out in the Consititution, just as all Free Americans deserve INALIENABLE rights! Illegal aliens DON'T deserve rights here until and UNLESS you BECOME an AMERICAN CITIZEN! Get it? GOOD!
Straight people need to decide, do you want to live in a country where the radical "right wing Christian agenda" dictates your life? Believe me, if they could, they would mess with you too. Do you like birth control? They don't. Do you like the freedom to have sex outside of marriage? They don't. I could go on, but you see my point. Straight people need to join the fight and help their fellow brothers and sisters out now, before it's too late.
If the separation of church and state means anything, it must include the idea that people cannot be forced by the government to live according to the dictates of others’ religion. Just because one or many groups consider something sacred doesn’t mean that everyone must be forced to do so as well. Just because one or many religious groups consider same-sex marriage a sacrilege doesn’t mean that everyone else must be forced to define marriage in a way that would exclude gay couples. It also isn’t good enough for people to argue that same-sex marriage is against God’s will — it’s fine if churches teach this, but no government is under any obligation to legislate in a manner that is consistent with what what any church interprets God’s will to be. That would be the very essence of what it means to live in a theocracy. Marriage does not exist in order to further any mandates from anyone’s gods. Marriage does not exist simply in order to encourage and protect procreation. Marriage does not exist because it is a “natural” function. No, marriage exists because society finds that it is valuable and worthy to encourage and protect committed, intimate relationships that are pursued over an extended period of time. As an institution, marriage helps provide legal protection and stability to human relationships that might not otherwise survive problems and pressures under more informal terms. Financial and social benefits are thus conferred upon marital relationships because their long-term stability furthers general social stability. So far, no government has suggested that any religious groups be forced to perform and recognize gay marriages - that’s the flip-side of the separation of church and state and is as it should be. Just as the government is not obligated to define marriage along religious lines, religious groups are not obligated to define marriage along civil lines. Marriage within a religion might be conceived as having been authored by God, but that is not and cannot be the starting basis for civil society. In civil society, marriage is authored by secular laws voted upon by representatives of the people and as interpreted by the courts. Thus, we are the authors of civil marriage - religion no longer plays any essential role.
queers just one more queer we don't need to wory about being around our kids.queers, pedofiles,child molesters.i don't see a dif.protesters against prop 8 set the cal fires.it's all over the news.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Well this is the first day in two years that I don't have to go Medina and be abused. I love it! Slept in til 7, made a big breakfast for Mark and will have time to do the elliptical before I leave the house about 10;30. Of course I am going to actively pursue other avenues but maybe take a week to sleep in :)
Yesterday I showed up for my two days a week with the rich dogs and the gate was padlocked and no one answered their phone. So I thought "maybe this is her way of firing me" I wasn't very surprised. I'm pretty sure she was waiting for me to beg and I didn't. So I finally got a hold of her and told her the gate was locked. She said "what do you want me to do". I said "open the gate?" She said "well I can't do that" even though there are automated keypads throughout the house. So I got fed up and said "Sheryl do you just want me to go home?" Finally she called the property manager and made me idle by the door until he fought his way through traffic and let me in. I was honestly a bit disappointed :) But really I feel like she has lost her power over me. I no longer rely on her for a big chunk of my income (at it's highest point about 3000 a month for two hours a day) I think she knows that too and she's trying other ways to control me.
So I'm going to update my website, print more brochures and starting pounding the pavement. I need to cultivate more sources of referrals...vets, groomers, pet stores, etc. Most fun is that I'm going to Echo Glenn tomorrow to check out their program. Have a good day all