Seven Plagues of the Apartment Apocalypse

Okay this may be a long one :)

In January I moved from Bellevue to Fall City. I mostly live out here in North Bend but with the remodel going on I feel the need to have my own space for a bit longer, September is the official date when I will move all my stuff in. So my roommate moved in with her boyfriend at the end of the year and I needed a place that wasn't 1500.00 a month (lovely, lovely Bellevue) hence the move to Fall City.

I thought it was a perfect solution. Halfway between Bellevue and North Bend it was an adorable three bedroom one bath on acres and acres of horse property. A view to die for, nice landlords, plenty of space and half the price of my two bedroom town home in Bellevue. I could have it all..my space, cheap rent, working plumbing and a roof....or so I thought.

So I found it on Craigslist "Three bedroom, one bath on Horse property-$850.00 a month including utilities". I emailed thinking it was a typo and surely they meant $1850.00. Nope, a nice lady emailed back saying it was right, with a picture. Cute little Mother-in-Law and she was nice too. We had a long dog conversation and seemed to get along great. Sure her answers were a little too familiar but she did say she'd had a bit of wine, no biggie. That should have been my red flag and it was the last time I felt good about this place.

So I looked and it seemed great. She was a bit strange...about thirty with three kids and ginormous stripper boobs but again who am I to judge. So she wants first months rent and a thousand to move in because it's furnished partially, okay no problem but then I could never reach her to sign a lease and give her the money. It bugged me. Over and over again I would try and get a hold of her and I couldn't . I needed to know so that I could give notice, start packing, etc. Okay I thought one more try and then I'm not doing this and wouldn't you know it, that last time she came through....bad mistake.

I went back and forth a couple times, one time the toilet was filled with poo. Another there were corn chips everywhere. Well the kids are playing in there but it will be cleaned no worries, okay. Take another load over no water. Finally it was all in. Then came the smell...cat pee. It permeated one entire bedroom. "Wow" she said "I had no idea the previous tenants had cats". Hmmm, she had told me the tenant before me was her sister she didn't know she had cats? Then she told me "By the way I wouldn't drink the water", what? She said "Well I probably isn't dangerous, but I wouldn't drink it" Hmm hmmm. I tried to take a shower that first day and it smelled like rotten eggs and was only a trickle.

Then came the bugs. Flies and yellowjackets littered the window sils. Which by the way wouldn't open. I went out onto my cute porch to find a "chewer" had spat all over the deck and left cans everywhere. My water (which I can't drink) randomly turned off. The washer and dryer I bought from Costco in exchange for rent reducton sat in the rain in the driveway waiting for her husband to bring them in. He told me one night when drunk he "loved me" and that he loved us "older" women because our drama is over.

They started divorce proceedings, the furnace stopped working...in February, the horses were neglected. I can't even remember all that happened but needless to say it turned out to be a very expensive storage unit that I never slept in. I bided my time until my lease was up and just got out as soon as I could.

Now she is saying I ruined her apartment and won't give me my 1000.00 bucks back. I'm filing a small claims court case on Friday and never ignoring what my mom calls my "still small voice" again.