Baba and Grandy
Kristen your post made me think of this...
This is my Grandmother Barbara and Grandfather Hal, Baba and Grandy. He's been gone for several years now at the age of 97. It was time I think when he left. He had dementia and was incarcerated on the Alzheimer's ward at "the home" (their words, not mine) right before he died. He was constantly trying to escape. The famous story is the one my Aunt tells of visiting him, driving away in her car only to look in her rear view mirror to see him trying to climb the chain link fence. As you can tell he did climb Mt. Rainier. Maybe he thought he was there again. When he died we really weren't all that sad. He was very old, a bit cranky and didn't really know who we all were. it was time.
Unfortunately now I think it may be her time. She will be 100 at the end of January. Already the planning for the big celebration is starting. The emails, the "who's house are you staying in" etc. I however don't want to go. I'm sure this will make me the (again) black sheep of the family. The thing is that she has stopped eating and drinking and says she wants to go....I respect that. Her eyes don't work, she has no appetite, she can't sleep, can't hear and worst can't paint anymore, the thing she loves.
My Aunt has apparently had a conversation with her about what will happen if she continues on this path and my mom is pissed. She doesn't want my Aunt to talk to her about this, says it's like "assisted suicide" and is gunning for a fight with her sister. I agree with her but I think maybe her mother has found comfort in the fact that someone will talk with her about this. I think she should leave it alone. Her sister has spent the last ten years caring for their mother giving my mother the opportunity to live the life she does unfettered by her mother. Personally I think her sister should inherit all and after their mother dies be free to live her life knowing she did the right thing. I told my mom this and she disagrees.
So I don't want to go to a "party" with familial in fighting and an old sick woman who may or may not remember me. I did it with my father's mother and I hate that memory. I would prefer to think of her as she is in those photos young and beautiful.....but Ohhhhhh will I be in trouble:)